Friday, December 30, 2011

Stop Fighting!

I have sent them to their rooms. I have taken away electronics. I have sat down with them and talked with them. I have screamed. I have made them "rest." I have had them work it out on their own. Nothing is working. Fighting is a sport for my boys and they love to fight about everything. We're talking real punches and arguing. Not just bear cubbing which they do sandwiched between the real fighting.

That's why when the other mothers are writing about how much they love Christmas break, I just want to scream. I am not the biggest fan. Sure, I love not making lunches and hurrying the kids to get dressed. I love no schedule. Well, sort of. I just can't stand the fighting.

My aunt always says that her two boys never fought when they were young. I don't believe it for one minute. I think you forget.

I know other mothers keep their kids busy from morning to night. I am not that ambitious. Plus, with the toddler, we try to get her home for a nap right after lunch. The Terrible Two's get a lot worse with no nap. So, we are stuck at home a lot. So, there is plenty of time for brawls.

So that is why after screaming at Kyle and making Ryan go to my room to rest, I am having a cup of tea, writing this post and on my way to get another piece of Amish Friendship Bread. I am exhaling and trying to savor this time with my children. My next stop is the school website to make sure I have the start date for school. It cannot come a moment too soon.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Where U Been?

Top 10 Reasons I have been away from my blog.

10. I might be losing my mind. Or at least it feels that way. Three kids are making me a bit nuts. A toddler might be the main reason. Either way. I just can't focus and write anything without her pulling on my leg. I can't get anything done. My house is in shambles. Honest.

9. Some private stuff happened to some friends in the fall. It was constantly on my mind and I was dying to write about it. I couldn't. So, I avoided the computer and tried to avoid mentioning their problems online.

8. When you write a blog, it is either super cheery, boring or you are complaining about something. I am tired of other people's blogs so I just thought people were tired of mine. And everyone time I tried to come up with a topic to write about, so many people were giving me advice. I am just writing to write. I wasn't looking for solutions.

7. I started to really pay attention to where our money was going in the fall. I was cutting coupons, learning how to play the coupon game and getting tons of free stuff at CVS. It takes tons of time. I might have gotten a little obsessed with it. (Google Krazy Coupon Lady for tips)

6. I was also working out like a dog. All of the weight I lost this past year takes a lot of maintenance. Before my 40th birthday, I was on the treadmill most school nights and lifting weights after that. Instead of writing, I was running and walking.

5. Three kids are a lot of work. Did I say that? I can't keep up. It is worth mentioning twice.

4. I feel pretty spoiled. When my days are long, tough and boring, I think about women who are struggling to feed their children. Many are the working poor who are working two jobs with no health insurance praying their children stay well. They struggle to heat their houses and feed their children. I have a gorgeous house, two cars, heat and way too much food. What is wrong with me and why do I complain? I have more that I know. Who wants to read about me worrying about this?

3. I wasn't sure why I was writing. In the beginning, I wrote for myself. I found it hard to share my feelings with random people that started talking to me about my blog in the grocery store. It felt too personal. They knew stuff about me that my dad doesn't even know. (No, he isn't a reader my blog). I started to feel uncomfortable. I am pretty honest. Knowing that certain people were reading made me feel weird around them.

2. I can't be as honest as I'd like. For example, there is a person that I sort of know. He is writing some really crazy, crazy stuff on Facebook. I would love to write a funny post about it him but it I can't. He might call me out of Facebook. I don't want that.

1. I don't know. Part of it feels like there is really no point to writing. A friend asked me today why I wasn't writing. I didn't have a good answer. But she had a good point, she said to do it for me. That's the only reason to do it, I guess.

So, if it keeps me sane, I will keep writing. I need some balance in my life (don't we all?) so maybe writing again will help me along in the journey. We'll see. I will keep you posted. But, just don't mention it too much if you see me in the grocery store.

I'm Not Talking About It, I'm Just Saying...