I have never been a big delegator. When I worked, I had a tough time passing off assignments to others and felt more comfortable doing it myself. I find myself doing the same thing at home. Yes, you can say it. I am a control freak.
I didn't realize it was so bad until one of my close relatives who shall not be named, started to tease me a little. I brought McDonalds home and my kids sat and waited for me to dish it all out to them. I had to grab the plates, ketchup and drinks. They sat very patiently and waited. And he started laughing hard. He couldn't believe that they didn't help me. I never realized that they should. I guess.
As the days seem to grow longer and longer the closer we get to the start of school, I realized that I can't keep this up. I am not doing my kids any favors by doing everything for them. I always tease my oldest, Ryan, that I can't go to college with him in eight years. He has to start doing things on his own. He acts helpless. Elle who is three is sometimes more helpful that my 10 and 8 year-old boys. But if you've watched Oprah you know that you show people how to treat you. I know I have taught or not taught my kids by being their waitress, cook and maid.
My mom worked a lot as a kid. We were pretty independent around the house. I didn't grow up with a mom that did everything for me. She didn't do much other than work and take care of herself. I remember washing my clothes at age 9 or so. I washed the whole household's clothes within a few years. And we handled all of the house cleaning by the time I was in middle school. So I grew up doing it all.
So things must change here. I moved all of my food around yesterday so that they can get their own food without any help. I moved bowls where they can reach them and they are getting their own breakfasts, snacks and sometimes their lunch.
With three kids, I can't do it all. I know this isn't much but it is a start. I know I am a bad delegator. I am also lazy about handing out assignments and being an enforcer. And don't get me started on chores. That's a whole other problem. I am just going to get them started in the right direction. College in eight years with Ryan? Only if I get to pick the school!
The Open Road
4 years ago