I looked over the nurse's shoulder and reread the amnio results. She was checking my information on her computer. I was facing the screen and her back was to me. I wanted to be sure. I had to see it with my own eyes. I wanted to read what the doctor wrote about my baby's test for Down's Syndrome. So, I looked hard and read the results. It said "Negative" for Down's Syndrome. And then it said "Female." Gulp. What? Really?
"Nurse, am I reading that correctly under the amnio section? Does it read that I am having a girl? "She was a bit confused and pulled up the actual amnio results. "Yes, it is a girl." Pause. I smiled and could barely contain myself. "Oh no. You weren't supposed to know?" Wow. She left the room and I could hear the doctor and nurse talking in the hall. There were some giggles and she explained the situation to my doctor.
As I waited to see my doctor, a flood of emotions flooded in. Tears came to my eyes. I don't know how to be a mom to a girl. I have boy toys. I have boys stuff everywhere. My mind was racing. I wish I could call my mom. She would be so excited. A girl! A girl! I am really having a girl! I was giddy.
We have spent the weekend talking about names and planning to clean out our house of everything we've saved for the past five years that we can now donate. Goodbye Bob the Builder. Goodbye bulldozer and construction toys. Goodbye newborn baby blue outfits. My neutral baby's room that is ready to go is suddenly too boyish for me to call a baby girl's room. I am almost too stunned to even do anything. Me, a mother to a girl? Good thing I have eight more weeks to think of myself as a mother to a little baby girl. Wow!
The Open Road
4 years ago