I was running late to the pediatrician when I noticed that I had cabbage sticking out of my tank top. My cuppeth runneth over.
I also smell funny.
Before I left, I put on a little perfume and used some smelly Aveda hair stuff so maybe the doctor wouldn't smell the cabbage rotting in my bra as she entered the small examination room.
If you have tried to stop breastfeeding, you know what I am talking about.
If you haven't, you probably think I am a weirdo.
Somehow, women through the ages have figured out that if you put cabbage leaves near your breasts that you will not feel pain as you wean yourself/child away from breastfeeding. (Go ahead and google this. I checked today to understand the science behind it. Pretty cool.) You can't just quit. It will kill you. It is best to do it slowly.
Or have your husband pick up cabbage. That's what I am doing. I am having trouble managing the baby, the house, kids activities and pumping. So, in a breakdown yesterday, I decided that I was done. I just can't do it anymore.
So, as I picked up Elle to run into her check-up, I noticed that I had cabbage falling out of my bra. I also didn't want to smell like rotting cabbage so I quickly picked it all out and threw it into my van (to be reused on the way home). I wondered if the Cleveland Clinic had cameras in the parking lot and if some guard was laughing at me. But, I didn't care. The GIRLS were hurting and cabbage is my best friend right now.
See the stuff you learn here at this blog? Yesterday, prostitutes. Today, cabbage for sore GIRLS. What will we learn about tomorrow? You never know.
The Open Road
4 years ago