Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Eva


Dear Eva,

How do I begin to tell you how right you were? You encouraged me to have that third child. You told me it would balance out our family. You told me I'd never regret it. You were so right.

I wasn't the best new mom. It kicked my butt. I barely made it through the newborn stage with Ryan. I was in shock. I felt that it was torture. I cried through the late night feedings because I was so tired. I wasn't sure how I could keep going. And then I got pregnant quickly with Kyle and wondered how I could add another baby to my life. I was barely hanging on.

So when we talked that beautiful night and you told me that on your death bed, your last regret would be not having a third child, you sold me. My husband stood there and shook his head. He knew I was sold.

Elle wakes up every night around 3 a.m. I shuffle down the hall to her room. I pick her up and soak in her beautiful baby smell. And instead of crying out of desperation, I sometimes catch myself tearing up knowing that these days are almost over. She will soon eat cereal and baby food. She will soon sleep through the night most night. And I can't believe that I am the same mother who would have given anything to end the late night feedings for Ryan.

Elle has given me a new perspective as a mother. I now understand how sweet it all is. If I would have ended my journey with Kyle, I would not have such a soft, warm spot in my heart.

So, Eva, thank you. I am a better mother for being the mother of my beautiful baby Elle.

Forever grateful,
Indy

8 comments:

OHmommy said...

It gets even better. You think you are in heaven now, just wait for those chubby arms to wrap around your neck. It's THE best Indy. Enjoy her.

Krystyn said...

Oh, what that's one of the best things for a friend to tell you. I think you sold me, too!

amyjr said...

Beautiful! She is a sweet little girl and love the picture of her laughing smiling face. Shayna Punim..yiddish for beautiful face.

Anonymous said...

Look at that beautiful smiling face! Full-on joy. Elle rocks. ~Aldee's Friend Mary

Kat said...

I feel the same way about my 4th. :)
Beautiful!

Kerri said...

what a beautiful tribute. i need to come by and meet that girl!

Flea said...

Awww! Three is just right. There are days I want four, but then I wake up, have a cup of coffee and get over it.

MIT Mommy said...

Lovely post - and so true. My mother told me tonight that after your youngest is about one year old, every year you will keep saying that this is the BEST age.

She's a mother of three as well. =)

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