Saturday, February 6, 2010

Forcing Me to Do My Job

Ry got into a bit of trouble at school on Friday.

I got a call from the principal.


Then when he got home from school. He lied. Twice. To my face. Even when he knew I was calling the principal to tell her she was wrong about my little angel, he lied. Double gulp.

As I sat deep breathing about where I went wrong as a parent, (go ahead and laugh at me. I really felt this way.) I realized that it was true what older friends have said to me. Little kids, little problems. Big kids, big problems. And Ry was 7. I was doomed for the teenage years.

So, I sat breathing and freaking out big time. There were many calls to my husband at work and then to my sister. How to punish? What was appropriate? We are corner kind of people. We haven't spanked and when we get really crazy, we send them to their rooms. How do you send a message that lying will not be tolerated?

Dr. Ray, a discipline expert that spoke to our Early Childhood PTA once said, you must know their currency. If you know my Ryan, you know it is his video games.

So, we took it all away. Computers, DS, Playstation and Wii. Right. Before. The. Weekend. He doesn't play hardly at all during the week. Too busy with everything. But, boy does he love to relax and play on the weekends. And most of all, he loves to play with his dad.

And guess what happened? I think he is having a better time without his games. His brother is in on it too! Toys from the basement were brought up. He decorated his Valentines Day box. He read 50 pages of his latest favorite book and he actually asked me to get out his homework so he could start it early.

Go ahead and pat yourself on the shoulder if you are a better mother than me who never lets her kids play video games. You know that kids play better without them. It is a part of my hubby's life so it is a part of my kids life.

So, we learned important lessons in our house on Friday.

Ryan is not perfect.
Kids can lie really well.
Being a good parent is a lot of hard work.
No electronics is a good thing.
We need to set some limits in this household.
I am still afraid of principals.

When I had Ryan, I felt that each stage was hard in a different way. Baby, toddler, Terrible 3's (not the 2's, the 3's are much worse), preschool tantrums, Kindergarten transition and now the wacky first grade behavior. It's all hard. Each stage and in a different way. And if you are thinking "this isn't so bad" just hold on. You are ready to be hit with a doozy. My husband I, the night before the "incident," were just saying what a great age 7 is and how much Ry is growing up. He is. Yes he is. But are we ready for it?


Lara said...

You are doing a good job, but it is very hardwork. Better dealing with issues now and let hiim know consequences then at an older age when he can get away with much more.

amyjr said...

We can all say been there and done that. My daughters currency are the dolls, Barbie and the baby doll. Take it away and they know i mean business.
Hey I actually listened and retained something from a SECPTA meeting.:-D
I am also afraid of the principal phone calls.

Jessica said...

Kids can definitely lie better than anyone can even imagine! I don't ever remember lying that much, but I have a sister who has become the queen of lying. Queen, I tell you.

Kat said...

My hubby and I always swore we would never allow video games in our house. So far we haven't, but we'll see. ;)

I agree about 3s. Threes are MUCH harder than 2s. And my Ben just turned 3 today. Egad! ;)

Emily said...

Don't think I've ever said this isn't so hard! You're so right- each stage has its own challenges!

AreWeThereYet? said...

Dr. Ray is a smart guy. And you are a smart Mom.

It takes your breath away, doesn't it? The first lies make you dig deep and reexamine your parenting style. It was my wake up call that I need to communicate and relate differently with my boy.

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