Big Job

My house is falling apart around me. I struggle to keep up daily. Elle is at a tough age where when I put her down, she wants to be held. I forgot how bad this stage is. Two days ago I said (whined) to my husband "WhoEVER said to enjoy this baby stage clearly forgets how hard it is." I know I forgot. And it has only been five years. I am already looking forward to kindergarten. (Please spare me the sermons about enjoying every minute. I know. I know.)


I've written about my weight loss here on my blog. I devote a lot of energy into working out, planning healthy meals and snacks and tracking my progress. I was relieved the other day to hear someone say it is similar to a part-time job. I feel like it is. Every night when I used to straighten the house and check my email, I am instead on the treadmill and lifting weights. Good for my body but not so good for getting to my "to do" list.


But what do I do every week? I look for a job. I don't know why I do it. I think I like to make sure this is the right choice. I worked at a university and college in administration. So, weekly, I check the local colleges to make sure they don't need me.


I have a big job here. I am barely keeping up. So, I don't send in the resumes. I come back to reality and realize how much harder it would be to work. And I go back to moving Elle to whatever room I am trying to clean up. We sing. We make noises and we make it work. It is a big, big job. My plate is full. And I am sure I will miss this someday.