Yesterday was a rough day for me. Here are some of the reasons why I was in such a bad mood.
Other than the usual fighting between Kyle and Ryan before the bus came and Elle wanting me to hold her while I was making the kids' lunches, I turned Good Morning America on. Bethany Frankel was on there bragging about how easy it is to run her "brand" from her home. She said she does it all as a stay-at-home mom and that we can all do it too if we just work hard enough. You can't just imagine good things happening to you, you have to work at it (sorry Oprah). It struck a chord in me. I think I could create something meaningful if I could string two sentences together and finish anything that I start without someone asking me for something. After fuming about her annoying, smug attitude throughout the morning and telling myself that she has nannies, cleaners, assistants and stylists, I finally got over it and told myself off.
The kids came home from school and the fighting continued. They missed each other so much at school and they needed to make up all of the time they had missed to fight. Elle was especially cranky. I just kept drinking tea and taking deep breaths. We put the kids to bed and I sat on the couch almost in tears. I just sat there wondering if I had really thought the whole kid thing through. I just wanted a baby. I had no idea that my whole life would be this different from my old life. The kids had gotten the best of me that day and I was thinking maybe I should be back at work full-time and also take on an additional job to make sure I would survive until they left for college. Dropping them off or hiring help sounded like something I could do. I just wondered what I was doing wrong. I was supposed to be enjoying this. I was going to miss this when I was old.
From there, I watched more bad TV while on the treadmill. So tired of CNN's election coverage of the primaries, I turned to some Kardashian show. One of the sisters decided to start couponing. Everyone was making fun of her. Kim's ex-husband even yelled "You are a millionaire. What a waste of time." Now, I totally agree with them all. It just was the end of my limit of the public making these idiots out to be experts. Why was I watching this? Why was I offended that they were making fun of someone using coupons? Why is my brain mush?
I woke up feeling so much better. I then read the best post ever written by a mommy blogger. You have to check out
The kids will now get off the bus in about 5 minutes. I will keep her post in the back of my mind. I am printing it out right now. And I will reread it and remember that we are all in the same boat. It isn't easy being a parent. But, it feels so good to know we all feel this way at times, its hard as hell and we'll be OK. And we'll get through it together.
The Open Road
4 years ago