Talking about it

On Monday February 27, a 17 year old boy walked into Chardon High School's cafeteria and fired shots at his fellow students. We live about a half an hour from Chardon. It is a great community, ideal for raising a family. We have relatives that attend the school district. Our prayers are with the community of Chardon. This first section was written BEFORE I had the talk.

"What should I tell my children?" a friend wrote on Facebook. Someone had the guts to say "Don't tell them." Really? You would rather your children hear on the bus that someone took a gun to a local high school and shot at other children? You want you children to be alone with their thoughts on a school bus when they hear this? I struggled to even comprehend how someone would think this was a good answer.

Many friends chimed in with suggestions and ideas. There were many thumbs ups. One commenter was an elderly woman. As I looked at her in the picture, I thought about how times were so different. Our conversations as parents have to be so different because our children are growing up in such a violent world. My children will be off of the bus in an hour. I made some brownies and we'll have a talk.

I sat and thought how to properly word my response. I prayed. I then took a few deep breaths and wrote the beginning of this post.The kids came running in and had no idea what happened.

"Have you heard anything at school today about something big that has happened?" My first question came out confused and in a weird order. I wanted to see what they knew. They had no idea. Kyle suggested that the big news was that Friday is Dr. Seuss day and they were to wear green and bring their favorite Dr. Seuss book.

I quickly got us back on track and talked about the boy with the gun. We talked about the drills they have at school and that they work. We talked about bullies and how some children don't know how to handle their bad feelings. We talked about telling someone if you hear or see threats. We talked about their safety and that their schools are safe.

And they ran off. I sat there on the couch and they were gone. They were off to play their next game. I was worried for nothing. It was a harder conversation for me to have them for them to hear. But, isn't that the beauty of childhood? They are protected from really understanding until they are mentally capable to really grasp it. I am relieved that they don't care as much as I thought they would. High school and Chardon are so far away to them. And that's OK. I had the talk. I pray there won't be more.

I am that excited!

There are fashion bloggers. The are nail polish bloggers (I even met one before in real life). There are women that have gorgeous nails all of the time (Many of my friends visit the nail salon weekly). I am none of these. But I am wild about a new nail polish I stumbled upon.

When Shellac came out a couple of years ago, it was big news. But, it's pricey and not good for your nails to wear it too often. So last week, I was reading Allure magazine and they reviewed the new Revlon Colorstay nail polish. They said that it really worked. I am pretty skeptical of magazines like Allure because their profits depend heavily on advertising. But, the reviewer tried it, wore it for a week and said that it was similar to Shellac results.

I was heading out to a birthday GNO so I thought it was worth a shot. As I picked out my cool Stormy Night color and walked to the counter, I was filled with guilt. I have a drawer full of cute named polishes promising me chip free and long wearing nail color. I carefully polished my nails hoping that Allure was really telling the truth. And they were!

I just saw this morning that CVS is running a buy one, get one 1/2 price. The cost is around $8. That's a lot cheaper than a Shellac manicure without the hassle of a salon visit. It has been three days and with a dark gray color on my nails, it looks pretty good. I have done the dishes countless times, sat through a funeral picking at my cuticles and lots of household chores. And I never got around to putting a clear top coat on it. I ran out of time. Imagine how long it would last chip free if I had!

I think the name Revlon Colorstay isn't flashy enough. Haven't we heard Colorstay before when it didn't work? It should read "We're not lying this time" or call it "Revlac" like Shellac. So run out and give this polish a try. The color selection isn't the greatest. Let's hope they are developing some better shades. But who cares? Looking forward to buying more guilt free and throwing away some really crummy, fancy nail polishes that have been cluttering my drawers.

Pie

I remember seeing the actor that played Archie Bunker say once that whatever you do, get in between your kids and drugs. He had lost his son to addiction. I was a young adult then and it really hit me hard. He was crying and saying that when you are a parent, be nosy. Get into your kids business. Keep them safe. I have kept this with me trying to walk the fine line as I parent between safety and teaching my kids to fly.

After school the other day, Kyle told me that he had someone's email address from his bus and he needed help with his email. I couldn't read a bit of the address scribbled on the smallest piece of paper I have ever seen. We sent off an email to some Gmail account and probably confused some stranger. Luckily, his email address is his full name so the friend could remember his email without a small piece of paper.

Today, I checked on the account. I wanted to make sure the person emailing him was not the bus driver. I smiled when I saw it was to an Abby. 

This is their email exchange.

hi abby, I like pie do you have a ipod?

    Kyle

Her response:

No. But I love pie.

So sweet. Second grade. His first email to a girl.  I will try to not be too nosy as he moves into his teen years. But, I will get into his business to keep him safe, especially on the Internet.

Maybe I should be teaching him to bake a pie!

 

Can't Breathe

In my mom's generation, they opened Women's Day and saw the perfect house or recipe that would make it all better.

Tonight, I logged onto the website that I think is supposed to do the same.

Maybe its the wine or maybe I am just tired. I could be new. I don't get Pinterest.

With Jersey Shore humming in the background and my husbands' friends playing poker in the basement, I logged into Pinterest to see what all of the fuss was all about.

People looooooove pinteserst. Not just a little. But soooo much. Facebook is all a buzz.

What am I missing? I see outfits I can never put together. Quotes I won't live up to and a house I cannot decorate.  Recipes I will never make. Activities I will never do with my children and Valentines Days cards I will never make. I honestly lost my breath because I knew I couldn't and wouln't be the type of woman to do any of this.

Maybe that's OK. Maybe the goal is just a dream. But, I am not in the mood for dreaming and hoping that someday I will organize my clothes like the organization pin I saw on saw on a friend's board.

It is just too passive for me. Maybe it's just the wine. I better go get some more. Maybe then I can breathe.

Team Edward

Pearl Jam. U2. Twilight. iPhone. Uncool clothes.

"You dress like you are from a strict religious up-bringing." I will never forget the guy that said this to me once. It hurt. But, when something hurts, you know part of it is true. I was never one to follow fads. My parents never let me follow them. I was wearing penny loafers and oxfords when the whole world was wearing neon with cute flats in the 80's. I might follow fads eventually but I don't follow them when every else does.

When something is BIG, I get sick of all of the talk about it. I am a bit addicted to pop culture. I absorb it like a sponge. I can't get enough. So when pop culture starts getting into something, I have my own little backlash. I am not sure why I do it but I know that I do. For example, in high school, people were WILD about U2. You couldn't turn the TV or radio on without seeing U2. So wild that I got sick of hearing how fantastic they were.

If you know me, you know I looooove U2. But back in the late 80's and early 90's, I was more into Madonna and hip hop. I eventually got around to catching on to the U2 craze but I was a few years late. Can't believe I wasn't wild about them when the whole world was. Same thing happened to Pearl Jam in college. So tired of hearing about them. But then fell deeply in love.

I finally got my super fun iPhone last November and can't imagine life without it. Just a few years late. And my latest obsession? The Twilight saga. Finished New Moon this morning and can't wait to start the next one to see what happens. And don't even get me started on wanting to watch the movies. I can't wait to see it all on screen. All of my friends went to the latest movie and I had no idea what all of the fuss was about. I didn't go but picked up a book just because a close friend promised that it was good. I started and now I cannot stop. Addicted. And if you have read the books, I am on Team Edward. Yummmmm.

I am going to try to jump on the next bandwagon when everyone else does just for fun to see how it goes. When I start to resist, I am going to just going to do it. I am going to see what all of the fuss is about. And I will let you know what it is. As I write this, I am grateful that the whole feather or pink hair fad seems to be waning. And leggings aren't as hot as they were last year. Let's hope the next fad includes some comfortable penny loafers and some super cool music.

In the Same Boat

Yesterday was a rough day for me. Here are some of the reasons why I was in such a bad mood.

Other than the usual fighting between Kyle and Ryan before the bus came and Elle wanting me to hold her while I was making the kids' lunches, I turned Good Morning America on. Bethany Frankel was on there bragging about how easy it is to run her "brand" from her home. She said she does it all as a stay-at-home mom and that we can all do it too if we just work hard enough. You can't just imagine good things happening to you, you have to work at it (sorry Oprah). It struck a chord in me. I think I could create something meaningful if I could string two sentences together and finish anything that I start without someone asking me for something. After fuming about her annoying, smug attitude throughout the morning and telling myself that she has nannies, cleaners, assistants and stylists, I finally got over it and told myself off.

The kids came home from school and the fighting continued. They missed each other so much at school and they needed to make up all of the time they had missed to fight. Elle was especially cranky. I just kept drinking tea and taking deep breaths. We put the kids to bed and I sat on the couch almost in tears.  I just sat there wondering if I had really thought the whole kid thing through. I just wanted a baby. I had no idea that my whole life would be this different from my old life. The kids had gotten the best of me that day and I was thinking maybe I should be back at work full-time and also take on an additional job to make sure I would survive until they left for college. Dropping them off or hiring help sounded like something I could do. I just wondered what I was doing wrong. I was supposed to be enjoying this. I was going to miss this when I was old.

From there, I watched more bad TV while on the treadmill. So tired of CNN's election coverage of the primaries, I turned to some Kardashian show. One of the sisters decided to start couponing. Everyone was making fun of her. Kim's ex-husband even yelled "You are a millionaire. What a waste of time." Now, I totally agree with them all. It just was the end of my limit of the public making these idiots out to be experts. Why was I watching this? Why was I offended that they were making fun of someone using coupons? Why is my brain mush?

I woke up feeling so much better. I then read the best post ever written by a mommy blogger. You have to check out Momastery.

http://momastery.com/blog/2012/01/04/2011-lesson-2-dont-carpe-diem/

The kids will now get off the bus in about 5 minutes. I will keep her post in the back of my mind. I am printing it out right now.  And I will reread it and remember that we are all in the same boat. It isn't easy being a parent. But, it feels so good to know we all feel this way at times, its hard as hell and we'll be OK. And we'll get through it together.

Stop Fighting!

I have sent them to their rooms. I have taken away electronics. I have sat down with them and talked with them. I have screamed. I have made them "rest." I have had them work it out on their own. Nothing is working. Fighting is a sport for my boys and they love to fight about everything. We're talking real punches and arguing. Not just bear cubbing which they do sandwiched between the real fighting.

That's why when the other mothers are writing about how much they love Christmas break, I just want to scream. I am not the biggest fan. Sure, I love not making lunches and hurrying the kids to get dressed. I love no schedule. Well, sort of. I just can't stand the fighting.

My aunt always says that her two boys never fought when they were young. I don't believe it for one minute. I think you forget.

I know other mothers keep their kids busy from morning to night. I am not that ambitious. Plus, with the toddler, we try to get her home for a nap right after lunch. The Terrible Two's get a lot worse with no nap. So, we are stuck at home a lot. So, there is plenty of time for brawls.

So that is why after screaming at Kyle and making Ryan go to my room to rest, I am having a cup of tea, writing this post and on my way to get another piece of Amish Friendship Bread. I am exhaling and trying to savor this time with my children. My next stop is the school website to make sure I have the start date for school. It cannot come a moment too soon.