Tuesday, September 9, 2008

All Talk

Disclaimer: I will not tell anyone who this is about no matter how much you beg. I hope you will understand that I must be private about it.

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Today I had someone say something to me that was so hurtful. It brought tears to my eyes and made my stomach sick. I always wish that I was quicker with my responses back to people. It is probably better that I am not.

The Mean Confrontation:

How dare you say this to me? You think you know me. You have no idea. You see me for maybe 5 minutes a day. You only know what you see. How dare you judge me? How dare you say it to my face and not think it would hurt me? If you have a real problem with me, discuss it with me. Don't just slam me and laugh it off. It hurt. I am not laughing. You've said it to me in a different way before but today, you said it in front of someone else. I didn't look like the fool. You did.

The Personal Confrontation:

When I was a child, old ladies would say this comment to my family. It hurt. When you say this, it does not make me want to change. If anything, I will become more like what you dislike and felt the need to say. Why did you say this? Would you like to be treated like this? How would this make you feel? I almost cried on the way home. It made me feel like an awful person and mother.

The Six Year Old Response:

I am going to ignore her and be cold. I will carry this grudge for years and never be her real friend.

The High School Approach:

I will talk about this with her friends and hope that it gets back to her. I hope it makes her feel awful. She'll never say it again. Maybe.

The Blogger Approach:

Write about it until you feel better. Worry that she will read this. Get over it when you read the nice comments.

11 comments:

Someone Being Me said...

Well hopefully the blogger approach of getting it off your chest helped. It usually helps me. Some people are just tacky. Try not to let it get to you.

OHmommy said...

Oh Indy.

I am so so sorry. I hope it feels good to get if off your chest. I will try to BEG and PLEAD and TWIST you arm for you to tell me. But I understand that you are one classy lady and don't gossip. This is what attracts me to you.

Anonymous said...

People are just downright MEAN. Do you realize everything I said to you tonight at the meeting is going through my head? Ok, so it wasn't me...Right? People just suck. You are way too awesome, kind and thoughtful for someone to say something horrible to you. I don't care who it was, I'm just chomping at the bit to know what they said. ;o) Sc**w them! They'll soon figure out how hateful and mean they are. Or will they? If they have any heart, they will realize what they did to you and apologize up and down even though the damage is already done. You rock! Don't forget it. It wasn't me, right? ;o)

Kathryn said...

Some people are just so clueless and have no tact. And unfortunately that is just the way they are and you can't change them.
I'm so sorry your feelings were hurt.

Jessica said...

I think you desire to go out for a really big, really special cup of tea with a lovely scone slathered in butter (it will have zero calories or fat grams as it is to make you feel better and that means they don't count) and then go get a mani/pedi all sans kiddos...just cause.

Poltzie said...

Oh Indy, I'm so sorry!

enthalpymama said...

I'm so sorry. That is so awful. Of course you know that they are the smaller person for being that way, but it doesn't make it feel better. Hurrah to you for making the world a better place by letting it go!

Stephanie said...

Hang in there... I know people don't think sometimes!

Krystyn said...

I hope the blogger approach is working and you are feeling better!

Good N Crazy said...

Yup, probably better that we are slow to respond in these situations. Sometimes that's why email is so ugly, cuz you are sitting there thinking and spelling it all out, but then...bam! you hit send and wham! You can't get it back.

Sorry, you were hurt, but glad you have us to listen to you?

Lindsay said...

Mean people suck. Way to use your blog as totally FREE therapy today - kuddos!

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