Tuesday, May 12, 2009

What Happens At Walmart

When I land in Vegas, I like that I feel normal. No matter what I wear, do, say or act, I am normal. No one judges you there. You will always find people that are freakier or funkier than you are. Your wildest is nothing there. I love that.

Walmart is a lot like Vegas.

1. No matter what you wear. You are fine. Stain on your shirt. Fine. Ripped sweater. No problem. Shoes not matched. Betcha no one notices.

2. Your kids are better behaved than most others. No matter how your kids are acting, there is a kid acting worse a few aisles away.

3. Whatever you put in your cart is nothing to be ashamed about. Little Debbies, frozen pizza and tons of pop. Feel no shame. Someone is eating worse than you.

4. You hate Walmart and are ashamed to be shopping there? So is everyone else. Get over it.

5. Don't feel like bringing your cloth shopping bags? Not really encouraged or accepted. Don't feel bad. Plastic is fine and easier for the workers.

6. Like Vegas, the price seems cheap. But somehow, $150 later, you leave and wonder how you blew so much cash. Too bad Walmart doesn't serve alcohol while you shop.

So in this economy, we might have to skip visiting Las Vegas. Plan yourselves a date night and head to your nearest Walmart some late evening entertainment. I am sure you will find some people and stories that would rival a night in Vegas. And don't worry, what happens in Walmart, stays in Walmart.

10 comments:

Kel said...

:) Now that is funny! I had never thought about walmart that way, but you know-you are so right. Next time I might just have to enjoy a night out at the "Wal-Mart!"
~Kel

Anonymous said...

That was so awesome. You should honestly submit it somewhere to be published in print!

CB

Flea said...

I like the idea of alcohol served at WalMart. I might actually shop there more often.

TUC said...

You are so funny! But I have to confess, one night my hubby and I had a babysitter and planned to go to the movies. When we got there nothing was playing that we wamted to see, so... we drove over to Walmart and spent our night browsing and shopping together. We laughed at ourselves and wondered how and when the heck this sort of thing had become us.

Kelbabe said...

Especialy when you screen your calls in Walmart and the person calling you is watching you do so! ;o) LOL!!! love ya!

Naomi said...

Loved this! Classic!!

MIT Mommy said...

I'm glad you told me this. Did you actually see me in Walmart or something?

Anonymous said...

Love it! This is too funny! This should be in a mommy magazine! Lara

Miss E said...

This made my day, I just have to let you know. Seriously an awesome post! So true!

Jo said...

HAHAH! I love this post!! So witty, and So true!!

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