Wednesday, August 20, 2008

OK, Why Lie?

OK. I am feeling guilty. Guilty for causing any mothers out there some grief. The other day, I wrote about how Jennifer Lopez has said that she has not had a nanny. She said she and her husband Marc Anthony have been doing it all without help. I was really impressed. Lately after reading the book, You'll Never Nanny in this Town Again, I have been pretty annoyed at celebrities who claim that they can do it all and be great mothers (without help). It just isn't possible. I don't work and there are days that I am not a very good mother. If I was at the gym hours a day, going to the salon, having photos shoots, interviews and filming, I doubt that I could squeeze in quality time with my kiddos. I would need help. Someone has to help with the kids. Just doing regular things with children like bathing them, feeding them and caring for them takes up most of the day.

So back to J. Lo. One of my readers, Jessica, emailed me a piece that blasted J. Lo. It said that there is no way that she doesn't have help. She must. She is just not calling her help a "nanny."
Think about it. I personally have seen J. Lo and Marc's pictures in People. They are out to dinner. Do you think Jenny's mom came in to babysit? All relatives? No. Probably a paid babysitter or nanny.

I don't even work and I have help. Not paid but I am in a babysitting co-op. We trade hours with each other instead of money. I have help. I have around 25 women that I can call at any time to help me with my kids. My life is pretty ordinary compared to J. Lo and I have help. How can two superstars be without help for the past six moths like she is claiming? Just not true.

So I apologize. J. Lo has lied and I don't want to cheer her on like I did in my last post. Being a mom is hard enough without the media claiming that motherhood is easy. You can't do everything. You can't be perfect. It is OK to take care of your children and not run triathlons. It is OK to not lose the 50 lbs. from your pregnancy in six months. It is OK to not get a shower. It is OK to put that hair back in a ponytail if you can't get a second to wash it. And you know what J. Lo, it is OK to admit that you need help and have a babysitter sometimes. It is OK.

11 comments:

Someone Being Me said...

I don't think any of us can do it completely on our own. Especially with 2, I can't imagine. I have been pretty much alone with Bear for the last 4 months since I have no family living nearby and it is hard. I have 2 friends I can call on to watch him so I can go to the dentist or doctor. Both of whom are now very far along in their 2nd pregnancies so I am kind of back to no one. The good news is that a local Mother's Day Out program called and they have room for Bear starting Sept 2nd. Its only one day a week from 9-3 but I'll take it.

Rhea said...

This babysitting coop thing sounds cool. I want one!!

Celebs irritate me. Totally.

enthalpymama said...

You can't do it without help. I owe my soul to a babysitting co-op. And, I take my kids pretty much everywhere as it is! Now that my first one is in school, I'm wondering how someone decided to make curriculum night an event without children in the evening during bedtime hours. What do people do?? Thank goodness for co-ops.

Jessica said...

I had also read J Lo's articles declaring her solidarity...and had to investigate :) Even if it was her mother that was there helping...somebody is watching those kiddos while she is at the salon!

Kathryn said...

Maybe JLo just has a sitter and not a nanny. You know her hubby is around the house often too. The thing about stars is that they kind of set their own schedules. Ya know? Whatever.

I don't think you have anything to apologize for. :)

Anonymous said...

Don't get me started. It's not just famous people. It kills me to hear of local acquaintances who have a babysitter/nanny at the house with them to take care of their kids so the mom can do what she wants. Why do you think my house is so not immaculate? Because my kids don't "allow" me to get it all done. I even take my kids with me to get my hair cut and sometimes to my regular doctor appts. (And, by the way, I get compliments on my children and how well behaved they are. - I'm sure those nanny/babysitter kiddos aren't getting the compliments.) It's not possible to get the everyday things done, let alone practice for a flippin triathalon, go out to dinner looking all nice and be alone with my husband. Wait, is that what you call the guy who's last name I share? The guy who shares space in my bed but that's about all because our children consume our time? You know what...? That's ok for now. It's a big deal when I get to put on makeup and we take our children to a sit down dinner. I'll be totally unkempt and mind-boggled for now because before we know it, they'll be off to college.

Krystyn said...

I'm with you. I need help! And, we never go out. We don't have family near by.

Why can't they just be honest? Who can do the gym, salon, tanning, etc, with twins that you have to take care of? Maybe MA does it all.

C and C Mommy said...

I know I could not make it without my family & friends to help out!! I am lucky that I have so much help...I have paid a babysitter to watch my kids a total of 5 times.

Tranny Head said...

J. Lo sucks! But for other reasons! Hehe.

Lisa said...

Good post, my friend. I think much of the mommy guilt that rushes over you like a wave the moment they place that sweet baby in our arms would go away if we would all just be a little better about asking for help!

Poltzie said...

No kidding! Why can't they just be honest? I would love to hear a celebrity talk about how hard it is and how tired they are!

I'm Not Talking About It, I'm Just Saying...

Title