Thursday, July 31, 2008

A Little Extra Exercise

Let's pretend I weigh 120. Just for fun. Since it's my story, I'll just say I'm 120. I can't ever remember weighing 120 but I must have at some point. I don't think I went from 7 pounds 11 ounces to my current weight. OK, back to 120.

A week ago, I wrote about looking a little pudgy in my vacation photos. So, I have been cutting back on Coke, sweets and treats. My weight has been coming down. Here is a typical morning at my house.

Get up. Stumble to the bathroom. Pee. Step on scale. Weight 120.6.

Go downstairs. Get kids some food. Try to talk myself into working out.
Do more stuff for the kids. Take my medicine. Pee. Go back upstairs and weigh myself. 120.4.

Work out, drink water. Pee. Go back upstairs and weigh myself for fun even though I worked out and drank water. 120.8

I am a pretty smart woman. I know that there can be no real weight loss in 15 minutes. But even though I know better I can't stop weighing myself. It is shocking to me that I really want to see a lower number. I am dying to see 119 on that scale. So silly. It is only a pound. Every morning, I go up and down the stairs in attempt to see the lower number.

So can I count all of this stair climbing and stepping on the scale as exercise?

Tuesday, July 29, 2008


I have received a few phone calls from my friends. Don't worry. Almost all of you would not know this person. She is not local. Thank you to all of my friends and their support. I appreciate it!

Yesterday I wrote about what a bad friend I am. I am now being put to the test. This is the real deal. This is where it counts. This is all that really matters. We've all had the call. The call that changes everything. That call came from a friend today.

"Indy, you know, right?"

"No, my husband left a message and I can't reach him. He must be in meetings."

"You don't know yet? You really don't know?"

"No. Come on Claire, tell me. I'll pretend I don't know. Just tell me."

"Indy, it's bad. It's really bad." There was a long, long pause. "Julie has cancer. Liver and pancreatic."

"No. No. No."

Today, a friend called to tell me that one of our dear friends has cancer. She's young. She's a mommy to two sweet little kids. She's a great person. She makes me laugh. We drink too much red wine together. She has the best smile. She is a fabulous career woman. She is smart. She is beautiful. She is my friend.

There is nothing else on my mind. I do know that I will find a way to be there for her and her family. We need a miracle here and whatever you believe, please say a small prayer for our friend tonight. We really need a miracle.
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Monday, July 28, 2008

Just Not My Bag, Baby

I am a bad friend. I don't mean to be. I like having friends. It's just that I am not good at it.

Today, some newer friends were talking about about a mother of a boy at preschool. "She never reciprocates." "She'll let him stay here for hours." "She never calls and invites my son over."

I am sitting there quietly. I know this mom and I can't believe my ears. My face is burning. Not in defense of other woman. I am ashamed because I know people could be having this conversation about me.

I know there are people my sons would love to play with. I don't call because I am afraid of new situations (yes, I am friends.) I also don't call because I am usually not that organized in the summer. I have been taking it easy. I haven't gotten around to some new people because we haven't even seen our close older friends that much. I also haven't called because other things are going on.

As I was writing this I thought to myself "I do call. I can list some friends that I call." But then I realized, I only call the closest people and I don't even do that very often. As Austin Powers said "That's just not my bag, baby." It's just not my nature. It's just not who I am. I am a friendly person but I just don't pick up the phone. I just don't think to call people to get our kids together.

This is a great problem to have. I am not complaining. I am just putting it out there. I need to be a better friend. Make more calls. Be more proactive. It is hard. But, I will try. It may not be my bag but I think it is my sons' bag. They love to get together with friends and so do I. "Yeah, baby, yeah."

Friday, July 25, 2008

Winning Cut

Yesterday, I asked for people to vote on a new haircut for me. Here is the winner!

I will take all of the photos into my salon. I am still leaning towards combining the bangs of this photo below with the photo above. I like the shorter length.

So thank you for helping! I will make sure to take a before and after shot to let you see the results. August 4th can't come too soon.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Time For A Change

It is time for a change here in Indyworld. My hair is driving me absolutely crazy. I feel like it has been the same for so long and I need to do something. I will miss my ponytail. I seem to wear it that way every day. I have had shorter hair cuts in the past. I am ready to go short again and add a little more style in my life. I am feeling frumpy. Anyone else noticing a pattern here?

I have some photos of haircuts. Let me know what you think would look best on me. If you think I need to keep looking, please say so. Honesty is appreciated! I can't promise I will follow the most popular choice. But I do promise to have some before and after photos for you.

Here is my current haircut on a typical long day:

Here is a photo of me that I use on my blog. It was taken on a very good hair day, the week after I went a little brighter on the highlights.

Please vote. Here are your choices:

Choice #1:

Choice #2 (just the cut, not the color):

Choice #3:

Choice #4:

My appointment is already scheduled for August 4. I can't wait. Thank you for helping me decide. I will be frumpy no more!

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

From His Point of View

I love it when my kids steal my camera. I do. We don't have a fancy one so we let them play away. We're hoping they break the camera and we'll have an excuse to buy a new one. Here are some fun photos that my 4 year old took on our recent trip to Myrtle Beach. I am so glad that we didn't miss them.
It kept him out of trouble and we have some interesting photos that we'll always cherish. And unfortunately, the camera is still in one piece.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Chubba Chubba

A few days I wrote a post about how good I felt in my skin. I was wearing a swimsuit for the week and I felt good. I am woman, hear me roar. I have imperfections and I feel fine. Well, the vacation is over and so is my positive attitude.

My husband downloaded the family vacation photos. Ugh! The positive body image spirit has been sucked out of that bottle I wrote about.

I knew that I was a little heavier. I was pregnant for almost 3 months and ate every cupcake I could find. I knew I hadn't lost the weight yet. But when I saw the photos, I almost fell over. That is my tummy? That is my chub hanging over my shorts? Really? Really? You almost say to yourself "Why didn't someone tell me?" But of course I would have killed them had they said one word.

I will not post a picture of myself here for people to say I look great or fine. I will not make promises to myself or to my friends. I am just saying that something has to change here in Indyworld. Now, I am going to go and drink a delicious glass of water and head to bed.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Only an Evacuation

We had the evening from hell. Well, sort of. We ate dinner at Senor Frogs because everyone else decided to go to Barefoot Landing at the exact same time as us. We ended the evening with a visit to Ripley's Aquarium. It is one of my children's favorite places in Myrtle Beach.

As we left the aquarium, I attempted to surprise my overtired boys with toys they were eying at the gift store. I always say no and for once, I wanted to say yes. What is better than a surprise? Instead of being so happy with my surprise, they broke into tears because the toys weren't right and they wanted to pick out their own. Needless to say, we said forget it. They didn't get their toys. After tearing into them for being spoiled and swearing we were cutting back, we drove back to our hotel.

They cried almost the whole way to our hotel. When we got there, all of the roads were blocked. There was no way in. So, we drove up to the cop and asked what was going on. It was a chemical spill. The hotel was evacuated and he said come back in an hour.

I wanted to yell "Come back in an hour? Are you kidding me? I have two screaming children in here who haven't slept all week and there are two carafes of sangria waiting for me up there. We can't come back in an hour." We drove away nicely and tried to think of what to do.

To kill time, we went one of the million souvenir shops. We drove around and came back. Still blocked. No luck. They said to come back in another hour. So we did what any parent would do. We went back on our "spoiled speech" and bought the spoiled boys some ice cream.

I told my husband as we watched the boys lick their ice cream that we made poor refugees. The only thing I knew was that only an evacuation would get them an ice cream.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

My Skin

A post brought to you straight from Myrtle Beach, our family vacation. Kiddos are asleep. I have lost a dozen rounds of solitaire. My in-laws are away for a late dinner and my hubby is playing video games with his brother. Yes, I should be reading my many books. And for the record, I have finished two and all of the magazines. I just had to check in.
White and pale. So pale that I am almost blue. I am standing in the elevator in my bathing suit with people. They have all of their clothes on. I am wet and a little sandy. They are heading out to dinner and are nicely dressed for the evening. I am coming down with a fish net for my son. I stood there and I felt fine. I even talked to them. Wow. I can't believe I could do that without cringing.

A week of hanging out in my swimsuit with the kiddos will do that. I have no choice. I still have not found the perfect cover-up. Because of it, I have found new found freedom in my own skin. We are playing in the tide and digging large holes in the sand. We are playing ping pong and shuffle board in the water area in our suits. I spend most of the day wearing my suit and moving from beach to pool and then back again.

It is such a good feeling to see the imperfections and realize that it is OK. I am me and this is my body. It is my skin. Now, can I bottle this and save it for future occasions?

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Loooove To Read On Vacation

Honestly, did I really think I would be able to read all of these books and magazines on a week long trip with my family? I did. I had them ready to pack. I really did. I love to read but this is a bit ambitious. I'll let you know how many I get through. I could only make myself put back two books and one magazine.

Friday, July 11, 2008

An Apple a Day

One morning I was on the treadmill (shocker) and my son asked who was singing on The Today Show. It was Coldplay. Love them. My son is taking piano lessons so I was doing my best to sell Chris Martin and the piano.

"See how well he plays? I bet he practices a lot. Wouldn't you like to play like that when you are big?" I bet he started piano when he was your age. I also told him things about Chris Martin that would make him seem like a real person (that plays piano) and not just a lead singer of a band.

"Chris Martis is from London. He is married to a really pretty woman named Gwyneth. She is a famous actress. They had a baby and guess what they named it? Apple. Can you believe they have a baby named Apple. "

My kids loved it. Lots of giggles! Apple. Giggles.

We play all kinds of music in my van. They make frequent requests for Brick House and even the Madonna and Justin Timberlake song. But lately, there is one request. "Mom, put on Apple's Dad."

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Golden Reminder

We were sorting our piggy banks last week. The kids were putting their money towards some Legos and a mega slip and slide. As we sorted the money, we came across some coins from when I studied abroad in Belfast, Northern Ireland. The kids loved the different shapes and sizes of the money. I showed them the British Pound coin. When I lived there, I loved that coin. Probably because I was such a poor college student and I was hoping to score a pint with it! I also loved it because it is very thick, has cool writing on the outside of the rim and I love the color. It looks like a thick Chuck E. Cheese token. At least that's what my kids thought.

It has been a rough few weeks here in Indyworld. My youngest, Kyle who is 4, has been tough. Really tough. The tough times that you usually have when they are 2. We have tantrums and fits many times a day. Sometimes he is so tough that I am the one that ends up crying.

Yesterday, I begged my husband to put the kids to bed. After a day of three major tantrums in front of my parents, I didn't have the energy to finish the day. I asked my husband what we were doing wrong. Why was it so tough? Will it ever change? What will school be like if he doesn't listen and know right from wrong? Will we have enough money to send him away to boarding school?

Hubby put the kids to bed. They got up. Hubby tried again. They got up. I got crazy mad and then tried to put the kids to bed. They still got up. So after my last attempt, my husband tried again. By this point we were both angry and the blood pressure was boiling. My husband tried again.
When he came down, he brought a gold coin from Kyle. He said he wanted mom to have it because it was her favorite coin. I took it as a sign. He isn't all bad. He remembered his mamma's favorite coin and wanted to share it with me. He is a good boy and this is just a stage. We can make it through this and it will be OK. I swear I am going to keep that special coin somewhere in my kitchen so I can remember throughout the day that this stage will pass. I know it will. I know it will. Inhale. Exhale. Repeat. I know this will pass.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Piles Aren't So Bad

Piles. Most of us have at least one pile in our kitchen. In mine, there are usually two. One pile is for my husband with the latest mail. I then have my own pile that includes things I have to tend to at some point. We live with the pile and make promises to clean them up and they somehow seem to regrow while getting on with the more important parts of our day.

In our house, we have a very important pile. It is a tradition in our house to start "The Pile" for our vacations. Today, we were piling our sand pales, fishnets, buckets, balls and many, many sand toys high on the dining room table. Whenever we are going somewhere, one of the most exciting things to happen is when we start our pile. Yesterday, we started our Myrtle Beach pile.

My boys were so excited to get the pile started. They ran around and found alligators, boats and Star Wars guys to add to the pile. My husband and I agreed that the anticipation of the trip is almost as much fun as the trip. We got excited ourselves!

The pile keeps getting larger and larger. But, a few of the toys have wandered off and the fishnets are no where to be found. We just have to wait a couple more days until we pile our pile into the minivan and join the other minivans in Myrtle Beach. There, we will create new piles of seashells and other goodies to bring home to remember our trip. We have a lot of piles in our house.

***For a few of my N. Irish, British and Australian friends, piles in America are stacks of paper or objects. Not hemorrhoids! What a post this would have been if it was really about hemorrhoids not being so bad. ***

Monday, July 7, 2008

I Slipped.

I didn't mean to slip. It was a moment of weakness. I only slept with him twice.

My oldest has always had trouble sleeping through the night. When new moms complain about their baby not sleeping at six months old, I tell them that my oldest still doesn't sleep through the night and he will be six years old (Yes, you should see their shocked, very tired faced when I say it). It isn't so bad anymore. But it is only because we are strict with our bedtime routines. Super strict.

We don't lay down with our boys at night. We go through a routine that never changes. Teeth, pajamas, books and lights out. Through the past six years, I have tried every sleep method. You name it, we've tried it.

This past weekend we were away at our in-laws summer place on Lake Erie. It is a condo and it is very open and spacious. The light shines through the large windows and the sound of everyone below fills the loft. My kiddos struggled to fall asleep with the light and noise. My children out of their routine were desperate to fall asleep and so were we.

So, in a weak moment, I layed down with my oldest son and helped him fall asleep. It was beautiful how easy it worked. We had two relaxing nights at the condo and they went bed beautifully.

But tonight, we are back to our strict ways and he is nearly crying it out upstairs. I never imagined that I would be doing this at 6 years old. Back to Ferber!

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Rain, Rain, Go Away!

Dear McDonald's,

I want to thank you for today. We had an unbearable morning. We had plans for today. When we woke up, it was raining and are plans were canceled. There were many tears. There was a lot of yelling. We have had a lot of rain lately in Ohio and the kids are tired of all of our rainy activities. They do not want to paint, color, cut or make anymore cookies. They want to run and play.

You saved me by providing a place for them to run. Their tears turned into smiles. We ate lunch and they played for over an hour. I even got to read my book, Pillars of the Earth. In peace. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.


A very tired mom in Ohio

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Tootsie Talk

There is a put-together woman that I see every week at swim lessons. She has a style about her. Her hair is long and very dark. Her skin is pale. Her eye make-up dark but her lips neutral. She wears a lot of black and silver jewelry. Her style is not my style but I appreciate the look she is creating. As she walked by me this week, I noticed that she had a great pedicure with white toe nail polish. Bright white. It works for her. She looks great.

Now, this is something I could never pull off. With my skin tone, bright white would look pretty nasty on me. I go for bright red toenails most of the time. Sometimes I get a little crazy and wear hot pink or light pink. But, I usually go back to red.

I have been trying to remember when I first started wearing polish on my nails. When I was in high school, I used to create my own polish by adding glitter (red and blue for our school colors) to my clear nail polish. I'd wear this on my hands and my toes. Yes, it was thick but boy I thought it looked cool. I don't think there has been a day since high school when polish wasn't on my toes. Hard to believe.

What color do you wear most of the time? Is there is color that you wear when you try to be more adventurous? Are you a natural girl without any polish? Are you lucky enough to have it done professionally or do you do it at home?

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Not So Wild for WALL-E

I love Pixar. I love watching Toy Story 2 almost as much as my youngest son. I love almost all of the Pixar films. I thought I loved them all. All, except WALL-E.

I think I might be the only adult that doesn't like the movie. Before we went to the movie, I checked the reviews. The reviewers were wild for WALL-E. I checked Entertainment Weekly first. I always trust their reviews.

Owen Gleiberman of Entertainment Magazine reviewed the movie and wrote "I'm not sure I'd trust anyone, kid or adult, who didn't get a bit of a lump in the throat by the end of WALL-E, a film that brings off what the best (and only the best) Pixar films have: It whisks you to another world, then makes it every inch our own."

Real life people have reviewed the movie and have said the same three things:

If you don't get to verge of tears in the final act, then you just aren't human.
If you didn't like this film than you obviously have no soul.
The best movie of this year definitely.

Hmmmm. How can I be so different than most people? I know I have a soul and that I am human. I cry at commercials. As I sat and watched the movie I kept thinking about how dark and dreary the movie was. I didn't enjoy watching WALL-E in the garbage dump. I didn't care for his friend the cockroach. There is little dialogue. Reviewers loved this. Maybe as a woman, I needed more conversation and a connection. I also didn't care for the social message even though I am very dedicated to environmental issues. I also didn't like that all of the characters on the ship were extremely large. Hmmm?

By the end of the movie, my robot loving five year old asked me to leave. He loves all movies and can sit through anything. He said he was ready for it to end. I made him wait it out and watch the ending.

On the way home, I asked him what he thought. I said "Did you like it?" He said "I liked it a little." That is from a little boy with a soul and who I would trust with all my heart, review or no review.

I'm Not Talking About It, I'm Just Saying...