Today's Goodbye

I had to say goodbye again to my mom today. I asked my dad to pack up her wigs to donate to the Gathering Place's new wig salon. I love the idea that women going through cancer can pick out any wig that they want at no cost in a comfortable, cozy salon. When my mom passed, she left about six or so wigs and we had no idea what to do with them.

When I read about it in the Cleveland Plain Dealer in an article by Regina Brett, I immediately called my dad and asked if we could donate them.

So my dad brought them over in old plastic shopping bags. I thought I would put one on before the kids walked through the door and scare them but in the end, I was the one a little too spooked. I opened the bags and so much of it reminded me of my mom. Some wigs were good ones and some were a little too stylish for my conservative mother. But each one had the same color and similar style. I was overwhelmed with grief again looking at my mother's hair.

I made myself package them up knowing that six beautiful, strong women are going to be walking around the Cleveland area soon in my mom's hair. I know she would love it. I wrote a letter to Gathering Place (a very strange letter to write!) and let them know that I love this idea. I couldn't be happier to give them away.

But as tears poured out of my eyes and I started to tape the box, I stopped. I picked up my favorite wig and smelled it just in case. I was relieved that it just smelled like my dad's house, not my mom's perfume. And still a little sad that it didn't.

TMI

This post is going to be TMI. Totally. So if you are a dude, stop reading now. Please. I beg you.

OK Ladies. This is a public service announcement.

As many of you know, I celebrated my 40th this past November.

With it came a very strong visits from Aunt Flo.

I have a hypothyroidism so I just assumed that I have been feeling crummy (like when you are pregnant and so tired you feel like you cannot go on) because my levels were off.  So, I visited my wonderful endocrinologist for my yearly exam and she said that my TSH test for hypothyroidism was in the correct range.

I told her bad I have been feeling. I am so tired I can barely do anything. I am not motivated. I am out of energy and just as tired in the morning as I am at night.  And she knew exactly what it must be. She ordered another blood test and tested my iron and B vitamin levels.

My iron was extremely low due to my "heavy old lady periods" as I like to call them.

As soon as I found out, I ran to Target to buy iron, Vitamin C (to help with absorption) and a big bottle of my usual multivitamin that I ran out of months ago.

So if you are near 40 and you are starting to get the heavy old lady periods, get a blood test. It could either be thyroid as it was for me 8 years ago or even as simple as low iron. I am telling you, you can't imagine how tired I am simply due to low iron.

And there is your public service announcement for the day. I am going to bed.

Talking about it

On Monday February 27, a 17 year old boy walked into Chardon High School's cafeteria and fired shots at his fellow students. We live about a half an hour from Chardon. It is a great community, ideal for raising a family. We have relatives that attend the school district. Our prayers are with the community of Chardon. This first section was written BEFORE I had the talk.

"What should I tell my children?" a friend wrote on Facebook. Someone had the guts to say "Don't tell them." Really? You would rather your children hear on the bus that someone took a gun to a local high school and shot at other children? You want you children to be alone with their thoughts on a school bus when they hear this? I struggled to even comprehend how someone would think this was a good answer.

Many friends chimed in with suggestions and ideas. There were many thumbs ups. One commenter was an elderly woman. As I looked at her in the picture, I thought about how times were so different. Our conversations as parents have to be so different because our children are growing up in such a violent world. My children will be off of the bus in an hour. I made some brownies and we'll have a talk.

I sat and thought how to properly word my response. I prayed. I then took a few deep breaths and wrote the beginning of this post.The kids came running in and had no idea what happened.

"Have you heard anything at school today about something big that has happened?" My first question came out confused and in a weird order. I wanted to see what they knew. They had no idea. Kyle suggested that the big news was that Friday is Dr. Seuss day and they were to wear green and bring their favorite Dr. Seuss book.

I quickly got us back on track and talked about the boy with the gun. We talked about the drills they have at school and that they work. We talked about bullies and how some children don't know how to handle their bad feelings. We talked about telling someone if you hear or see threats. We talked about their safety and that their schools are safe.

And they ran off. I sat there on the couch and they were gone. They were off to play their next game. I was worried for nothing. It was a harder conversation for me to have them for them to hear. But, isn't that the beauty of childhood? They are protected from really understanding until they are mentally capable to really grasp it. I am relieved that they don't care as much as I thought they would. High school and Chardon are so far away to them. And that's OK. I had the talk. I pray there won't be more.

I am that excited!

There are fashion bloggers. The are nail polish bloggers (I even met one before in real life). There are women that have gorgeous nails all of the time (Many of my friends visit the nail salon weekly). I am none of these. But I am wild about a new nail polish I stumbled upon.

When Shellac came out a couple of years ago, it was big news. But, it's pricey and not good for your nails to wear it too often. So last week, I was reading Allure magazine and they reviewed the new Revlon Colorstay nail polish. They said that it really worked. I am pretty skeptical of magazines like Allure because their profits depend heavily on advertising. But, the reviewer tried it, wore it for a week and said that it was similar to Shellac results.

I was heading out to a birthday GNO so I thought it was worth a shot. As I picked out my cool Stormy Night color and walked to the counter, I was filled with guilt. I have a drawer full of cute named polishes promising me chip free and long wearing nail color. I carefully polished my nails hoping that Allure was really telling the truth. And they were!

I just saw this morning that CVS is running a buy one, get one 1/2 price. The cost is around $8. That's a lot cheaper than a Shellac manicure without the hassle of a salon visit. It has been three days and with a dark gray color on my nails, it looks pretty good. I have done the dishes countless times, sat through a funeral picking at my cuticles and lots of household chores. And I never got around to putting a clear top coat on it. I ran out of time. Imagine how long it would last chip free if I had!

I think the name Revlon Colorstay isn't flashy enough. Haven't we heard Colorstay before when it didn't work? It should read "We're not lying this time" or call it "Revlac" like Shellac. So run out and give this polish a try. The color selection isn't the greatest. Let's hope they are developing some better shades. But who cares? Looking forward to buying more guilt free and throwing away some really crummy, fancy nail polishes that have been cluttering my drawers.

Pie

I remember seeing the actor that played Archie Bunker say once that whatever you do, get in between your kids and drugs. He had lost his son to addiction. I was a young adult then and it really hit me hard. He was crying and saying that when you are a parent, be nosy. Get into your kids business. Keep them safe. I have kept this with me trying to walk the fine line as I parent between safety and teaching my kids to fly.

After school the other day, Kyle told me that he had someone's email address from his bus and he needed help with his email. I couldn't read a bit of the address scribbled on the smallest piece of paper I have ever seen. We sent off an email to some Gmail account and probably confused some stranger. Luckily, his email address is his full name so the friend could remember his email without a small piece of paper.

Today, I checked on the account. I wanted to make sure the person emailing him was not the bus driver. I smiled when I saw it was to an Abby. 

This is their email exchange.

hi abby, I like pie do you have a ipod?

    Kyle

Her response:

No. But I love pie.

So sweet. Second grade. His first email to a girl.  I will try to not be too nosy as he moves into his teen years. But, I will get into his business to keep him safe, especially on the Internet.

Maybe I should be teaching him to bake a pie!

 

Can't Breathe

In my mom's generation, they opened Women's Day and saw the perfect house or recipe that would make it all better.

Tonight, I logged onto the website that I think is supposed to do the same.

Maybe its the wine or maybe I am just tired. I could be new. I don't get Pinterest.

With Jersey Shore humming in the background and my husbands' friends playing poker in the basement, I logged into Pinterest to see what all of the fuss was all about.

People looooooove pinteserst. Not just a little. But soooo much. Facebook is all a buzz.

What am I missing? I see outfits I can never put together. Quotes I won't live up to and a house I cannot decorate.  Recipes I will never make. Activities I will never do with my children and Valentines Days cards I will never make. I honestly lost my breath because I knew I couldn't and wouln't be the type of woman to do any of this.

Maybe that's OK. Maybe the goal is just a dream. But, I am not in the mood for dreaming and hoping that someday I will organize my clothes like the organization pin I saw on saw on a friend's board.

It is just too passive for me. Maybe it's just the wine. I better go get some more. Maybe then I can breathe.

Team Edward

Pearl Jam. U2. Twilight. iPhone. Uncool clothes.

"You dress like you are from a strict religious up-bringing." I will never forget the guy that said this to me once. It hurt. But, when something hurts, you know part of it is true. I was never one to follow fads. My parents never let me follow them. I was wearing penny loafers and oxfords when the whole world was wearing neon with cute flats in the 80's. I might follow fads eventually but I don't follow them when every else does.

When something is BIG, I get sick of all of the talk about it. I am a bit addicted to pop culture. I absorb it like a sponge. I can't get enough. So when pop culture starts getting into something, I have my own little backlash. I am not sure why I do it but I know that I do. For example, in high school, people were WILD about U2. You couldn't turn the TV or radio on without seeing U2. So wild that I got sick of hearing how fantastic they were.

If you know me, you know I looooove U2. But back in the late 80's and early 90's, I was more into Madonna and hip hop. I eventually got around to catching on to the U2 craze but I was a few years late. Can't believe I wasn't wild about them when the whole world was. Same thing happened to Pearl Jam in college. So tired of hearing about them. But then fell deeply in love.

I finally got my super fun iPhone last November and can't imagine life without it. Just a few years late. And my latest obsession? The Twilight saga. Finished New Moon this morning and can't wait to start the next one to see what happens. And don't even get me started on wanting to watch the movies. I can't wait to see it all on screen. All of my friends went to the latest movie and I had no idea what all of the fuss was about. I didn't go but picked up a book just because a close friend promised that it was good. I started and now I cannot stop. Addicted. And if you have read the books, I am on Team Edward. Yummmmm.

I am going to try to jump on the next bandwagon when everyone else does just for fun to see how it goes. When I start to resist, I am going to just going to do it. I am going to see what all of the fuss is about. And I will let you know what it is. As I write this, I am grateful that the whole feather or pink hair fad seems to be waning. And leggings aren't as hot as they were last year. Let's hope the next fad includes some comfortable penny loafers and some super cool music.