Wednesday, February 24, 2010

I'm Growing Up

I sat and watched her open her baby shower gifts. I smiled on the outside. And I bit my tongue.

"Never gonna use that."
"Who told you needed that?"
"You'll use that for maybe one month."
"Take that back."
"You'll look like a new mom with that."

I looooooove giving advice. So much that I do realize that I am a pain to some people. I just love telling people what has worked for me. I like to help people. But, as I sat through the baby shower, I realized that I need to become "the older mother." You've met her. Maybe she was the one in your playgroup that didn't laugh at you for getting out a new binky when your baby dropped it on the ground. Maybe she listened to your sleep woes without talking non-stop about her sleep issues when her baby was small. And maybe you've told your birth story a million times and she listens every time as if she has never heard it.

I have realized that my baby time is almost over. I need to grow up too. Every new mom doesn't need to know everything I have learned in the past 7 years. She'll learn it in time. And like my husband reminded me, you can't learn it all at once. It would be too overwhelming to know right when you first get pregnant everything there is to know. Who would want to know how hard it is? You get it in bits and pieces when you are ready. I am still getting it in bits and pieces. I am getting this. I am ready.

So, I apologize to my friends and family who have had to listen to all of my tips and suggestions. I am going to work on talking less and listening more. I am trying. I learned that the first baby made me a mother. It was a huge transition. What will my last baby teach me? I am learning so much. But, I'll keep it to myself right now. I promise.


Kat said...

Wise decision.

I think the most important thing I've learned in my seven years is that I can't give advice. Every baby is different and just because something worked or didn't work for me and my baby that doesn't mean it will work for all. My mom has always been very good about not giving any advice unless specifically asked. I am (very slowly) learning to do that as well. ;)

Kat said...


Unknown said...

Advice is nice, but there are some things we each must learn on our own. Sounds like you have learned alot and are sharing the most important one of all. :)

amyjr said...

The best is the inside commentary that you say but not out loud. I normally just sit there and ask to hold the baby since I miss that baby smell and feel. I can sit and hold the baby and be content since my baby is 5.
Gotta love that grin! BEautiful just like her mommy.

Flea said...

You crack me up. Moms give advice because they've been there. My youngest is 12 and I can barely remember any of it anymore. And sometimes it's just fun watching other people struggle with new parenthood, knowing that they're going to enjoy learning the hard way as much as I did. The only unsolicited advice they really need to hear is "Nap every chance you get". :)

Anonymous said...

It is fun being the mom that has experienced all the beginnings. Now you can sit back and relax. It is hard for me too not to offer advice. I usually say "Go to the movies or out to eat now before the baby comes". (I am thinking, but don't say- you will never have this kind of freedom again)

Liz said...

Love this post. It's so true. It's hard not to give advice, but some things people just need to learn on their own. It's especially hard with siblings!! I'm sure my sisters get so tired of me explaining things and saying, Oh, just wait...

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