The Best Belly Ache

Last night, I laughed until my stomach ached. Over what? I really can't remember. It was the company. The ladies at my table made me sick with laughter. I haven't had so much fun in months. Seriously. What were doing? Really nothing. We gathered a group of women together to create a surprise for a friend who's husband has cancer. So, for hours, we worked on this little surprise (I will post pics once the surprise has been given to the family.) We worked. We ate. We drank (Coke for me) and we laughed and laughed.

I am going to invite people over more often like this. It didn't cost me much. Everyone brought something to share and it made me clean my house. It was a perfect evening. On the invite, I even included the words "store bought encouraged" for the food to share. I wanted a night with no pressure. No fuss. Just friends. And that was exactly what I got.

So why not pull out the datebook for January or February when the days are long and spring is so far away? Invite some people over that will make you laugh. Don't sell anything. Just some good conversation with great friends. I know I will.

I am so glad that I took pictures last night*. It is a night I never want to forget. It was a night when nothing extraordinary really happened except that friendships were deepened, new friendships may have formed and bonds were secured. It was a night to remember. Dear friends, I am so lucky to have you in my life. Thank you for your laughter, tears and belly aches!

*I will share real photos of the night once the surprise has been given.

She's Always on my Mind

Last night, my sister had a Mount Union College Homecoming party and housewarming party. She now works at the College and bought a house in Alliance. We had a great time catching up with her friends, work colleagues, neighbors and important people in her life.

We drank sangria. We ate good food brought by friends. We caught up with one another. Throughout the night, I kept a secret from everyone. They wanted to know how life was treating me. What do I do with myself? How do I stay busy? How are the boys? McCain or Obama? How is Indy?

I couldn't tell them the truth. I couldn't even go into any details. I kept a smile on my face and kept up the small talk. But there was only one thing I was thinking about off and on. My good friend "Julie." She has pancreatic cancer and we just found out this weekend that the fight is almost over. She will be sent home for her last few days to be with her family. She has only days, maybe a couple of weeks to live.

We have traveled to the hospital in Columbus to see her. She wouldn't let us touch her for fear of germs. I just wanted to grab her and hug her and cry. I wanted to tell her how sorry I was and how much cancer "sucks." She wouldn't let us. She didn't know the fight was over when we visited her. Thank God I didn't know. I am not sure I could have gotten through the visit.

When I walked out of the room, I looked back one last time. I looked into her eyes. I knew it was the last time I would see her alive. I just knew it. She looked so scared.

So, in between all of the conversations and smiles on my face last night. My heart was breaking. My dear friend "Joe" will have to bury his soul mate before Thanksgiving. I just don't know how he is getting through this. I am four hours away and I can barely think of anything else. My prayers but not my tears are running dry. I ask God for peace and support for their family.

I have to be honest. You always hear "Life is short." But when it seems like everyone beats cancer and everyone lives until they are over 80, it doesn't seem like life is so short. The last few weeks have caused me to shift my perspective. I am enjoying my children a little more in the last few weeks. I try to not rush them and I sit and watch them more. I try to say yes more often. I am more patient with my husband. Little things don't bother me as much as they used to. My cat scratched my new curtains this weekend while we were gone. Did I care? Not at all. Honest. So much more important things to care about. It is just not important. People are important. Curtains? Not so much. So, I guess life is short afterall. I am learning. Thank you Julie for my lesson. I promise to never forget.

Too Much Skin in the Bathroom

"Are we heading the right way to the bathroom?" I asked.

"Yes, it's downstairs on the left."

OK. I walked into the bathroom and it was a sort of laundry room/ bathroom combo. A candle was lit. It was clean. They were expecting their guests to use this bathroom.

But guess what they left out? A big ol' stack of Playboys. Yep. Right across from the toilet on the dryer. I couldn't believe my eyes. They were stacked neatly and everything was dusted and clean around them. I thought maybe they were vintage. That would be kind of fun to see Playboys from the 50's. Nope. On the top, the most recent edition. Whoa!

Now, I am not one to really care if someone looks at Playboy. I worked at Waldenbooks in grad school. I saw a lot of pornography sold. Many were sold to people that seemed really normal and conservative looking. I don't want to get into a discussion about pornography. Not my thing. Hopefully not my husband's thing but apparently, our friend's thing.

We were at a clambake. They had about 30 people there. There were friends and relatives and WORK ASSOCIATES. They knew we were all coming. All of the lights were lit leading their guests to this bathroom. Why did they leave out their Playboys? Why did the wife let her husband leave out the Playboys? Just makes you wonder.

As my husband and I giggled our way out of the downstairs, we were both talking about how I had to write about this. If only I would have brought my camera to capture the whole picture. Well, not the whole picture.

All Alone At the Zoo

"I wonder how they know each other. Their toddlers look like they are Ryan's age. They are all talking. They all seem so close. Man, I wish I had some friends to go to the zoo with. I had friends at my last job but then I quit. It is so hard to make new friends. I've got to meet some other moms."

I remember the day like it was yesterday. This is pretty surprising because I have mommy brain and can't even remember what I did yesterday. So anyway, back to my day at the zoo. I was standing there by the elephants. Ryan was small. It was probably our first trip to the zoo. I stood near some moms who seemed to look and act a lot like me. Except, they were all friends and I was alone. I walked closer so I could hear them talk. Yep. They are good friends. And man, why don't I have any mommy friends?

Do you remember those days? I remember my first playgroup. I was worried because the moms would come for lunch back then. I obsessed for weeks about what to serve. Can you believe I cared? I worked hard on a homemade potato soup with crusty bread. And guess what? No one came. Everybody was sick. We were first time moms so it was probably a sniffle. We still get together six years later. But now, we do it on our own without the kiddos. We meet for dinner and drinks and catch up throughout the year.

I remember moving and meeting my new playgroup. I was so nervous to walk into the house. I had nothing to worry about. What a time saver that playgroup was for me. They had it all figured out. They knew what preschools were good, where to shop, what to do, where to go and they knew everybody. Thank goodness I joined that preschool PTA and sent in that playgroup form. I can't imagine my life without those women in it.

Time has changed and I was just invited to join another group of mothers. I have a strong group of friends and tend to take on too much so I am not sure I can add another group to my list right now. What a nice change this is. I am in a good place and feel so lucky that there are women that have gotten me though the baby, toddler and preschool years. Dear friends, thank you. We've grown and changed so much in the last six years. I am lucky to be able to call any of you up for a trip to the zoo and you'd be there.

Passing It Along

After a long day, I went to my mailbox with my two boys. One was excited to tell me about his day at school and the other, I don't think he stopped talking the entire day. As I opened my mailbox, I found an envelope. On it said "I'm Not Talking About It, I'm Just Saying.... thought you could use these. " Boy could I.


Inside the envelope were coupons for FREE chocolate chip cookies and chocolate bars. Yummmmmmm! I think I know which reader sent them to me. Thank you! Thank you for putting a smile on my face and making my day.

I have to be honest, the cookies that I wrote about it in my last post sat in my van all morning while I ran errands. I had two places to drop them off. Both had some major things happen this week in their lives. One person I knew really well and one that I just knew from around. I dropped the cookies and card off to the person I knew well. I then made countless excuses why I should just drop off the card instead of with the cookies. Was I going a little over the top with them? What if my cookies weren't good? What if I didn't have enough in the container? Was my bag too ratty? Will she think I am dork? She found the cookies on the porch and called right away. She really appreciated the thoughtfulness. I was afraid of taking the risk.

So the refrigerator is cleared off for now. For now, I am caught up on my good intentions. I'll keep passing it along and hope you will too.

My Kind of Service

I volunteered a lot in college. I helped two people learn to read. I was also a mentor for a program like the Big Brothers and Big Sisters organization for years. I also volunteered at a Domestic Violence Shelter. I dabbled here and there as much as could.

Since I have had kids, I haven't had the time to volunteer like I used to. I am in a preschool PTA and I have put my time in on the board. I have spent countless hours working on various committees. I have also served on the board for our preschool. I know other people call this volunteering. It is one type of volunteering but I do it more for me that the organization. It keeps me sane.

I sat through a sermon a couple of months ago. One of our co-pastors was talking about the Good Samaritin. I started to think about how I used to volunteer and then I started to feel guilty that I wasn't more help to the world. Why can't I be less selfish? Why can't I be more like Mother Teresa?

But his message was amazing. So amazing that I just have to share it. It haunts me daily. He said that you don't have to go downtown to the food kitchens. You don't have to go to another country to help others. You don't have to move mountains. It is great if you do. But, we miss opportunities all around us to serve.

The need is everywhere around you. Someone you know is lonely. Someone you know has someone dying in their family. Someone you know has cancer. Someone you know needs to talk. Someone you know could use a dinner. Someone you know might be struggling financially. Someone you know is depressed. Someone you know just had a baby and needs some help. He said you could do everything God wants you to right where you are. You don't have to save the world. Just take care of the people around you.

As I sat there, I made a promise to myself. I would no longer just have good intentions. Any time there was an intention, I would follow through with it. To keep this promise, I make HUGE NOTES on my refrigerator. I don't allow myself to take them down until I take care of it. The note drives me crazy enough that it really motivates me to follow through.

Are you good at following through on your intentions? I am getting better. In fact, I have a huge note on my counter right now to make someone some cookies. That, I can do.

Age Is Just a Number

A couple of days ago, I was worried about my sister-in-law's bachelorette party. I thought I would be the oldest in the group, ready to go to bed by 10. Unable to keep up with the twenty-somethings. I could not have been more wrong about the night.


We had 17 women with us! What a group. Katie was a perfect bachelorette. She was up for everything the bridesmaids threw at her. She wore an adorable t-shirt, the usual tiara with a veil, a sash and beads for unsuspecting men.


What was so different about the night was that four of the mothers had dinner with us and joined us for drinks at our first bar. It was so fun! They even helped decorate the hotel room. They helped with the drinks, goodies and naughty chocolates. They gave Katie gag gifts and were so helpful with the whole party.

For a whole week, I worried about what to wear, how I would fit in and if I would feel old. I was so worried about myself that I missed the true spirit of Katie's day. The bachelorette party isn't about the funny gag gifts that your friends make you wear. It isn't about the drinks. It is about friendship and love. Katie's friends love her so much that they all worked to make it a special day. Each person had creative touches that made the day so special.

At dinner, I looked down at Katie sitting at the head of the table. She looked so happy. Her mom was laughing, wearing something silly that I can't write about here and everyone was laughing. Everyone was in the moment and enjoying themselves. I couldn't help but think how lucky she is to have such great girlfriends. What a night!