Who Needs the Vaccine?

There has been so much debate about whether to get the H1N1 vaccine. Luckily, most of us in our area will not have to make this decision. The flu is hitting Northeast Ohio hard.

I was sure we would get the vaccine to protect my newborn. I had to do something!

Little did I know that my sons would get it and cough all over my baby. They sneezed all over her too. Ryan, my oldest, was so sick and could not catch his breath. I took him to the pediatrician to try to get a super duper prescription cough medicine that would help him sleep. We didn't get one because my doctor was too focused on testing Ryan for the Swine flu. I had worried so much about it that I didn't think this could be it.

As I found out, he did have it! So, no vaccination for him.

My husband and I didn't get sick at all. So, we will try to get our shots. And our baby Elle, so far so good. We have Tamiflu just in case. I swear I check her head for a fever every hour.

As much as I feared the Swine Flu, it is a relief to have had a child have it, be tested for it and recover. Nothing rocks a family like having a sick child. I am feeling blessed to have had mine recover. And I am remembering the children and their families that haven't been as lucky.

No Weigh!!!

Ugh!!!

We tied.

Really.

Doesn't that suck for me? We tied and we lost 4.8 lbs. in the past month. Great to lose the weight but it didn't feel like a victory. I knew it was close. I ate so perfectly the day before and didn't eat anything with a lot of salt in it to make sure that there wasn't any water weight. I think my hubby went to McDonalds the day before we weighed in.

Then two days later, I lost 1/2 a pound not really being that strict. Ugh. Who knows.

We split the winnings. I joined Weight Watchers yesterday. I will be attending my first meeting in the next few days. I am a little nervous but happy to have the support and great ideas.

In my last post, I promised that this would not become a weight loss and exercise blog. So, I will end this discussion for awhile. We weigh in again on November 17.

I promise to write more often. Things are falling into place with the baby and I am starting to feel more like myself. Stop back again soon.

Losing My Hair Continues

Bad move. I encouraged my hubby to read my post about working out.

It has taken this competition to a new level. He jumped on the treadmill and ran.

Man. Weigh in is on October 20. So far, I am ahead. Stay tuned.

Losing My Hair

It. Is. On.

My hubby and I are in a weight loss competition.

I can hear all of the women out there screaming "So not fair. Men lose weight faster..." Yes, you are all right. They do. But, I just had a baby weight and I lose weight pretty easily once my body realizes that we aren't pregnant anymore. My hair just started falling out so my body seems to have gotten the message that it is time to let it all go. Let's hope!

So, every month on the 20th, we are weighing in. In private! I will not let him see the number. I won't admit it to anyone. It is a man size weight. And no one but me will see this crazy number.

I am about five pounds down and I have one more week to go for the month. That's not too shabby. My husband is down about 4 pounds. He can not eat dessert one night and be down two pounds so I have to stick to it this week in order to win.

What do I win other than gloating rights and pants that fit? My husband received a little extra bonus money and he divided it up per month. So, it is a good amount and one that motivates me. The winner of the best out of three months wins a sizable amount of money from Coin Star that we just turned in. FUN!!!

And how am I doing it? For now, just cutting back on my addiction to sweets and walking each day on my treadmill. I will get more crazy when I need to if I hit a plateau. And what will I do with my money when I win this month (hear that husband?)? I might join Weight Watchers to ensure that I win each month after this. Sort of a reinvestment of my money. I won't drive you crazy with updates each day about my workouts and weight loss. There is nothing worse than reading that on blogs. But, I will keep you posted once in awhile. I may even post some pics if we ever get the computer and camera working together again.

Hubby- It. Is. On.

I Believe

There has been a lot of talk about feeling good in our skin, self esteem and what we all do to feel beautiful. From Chris Rock's movie "Good Hair' to Glamour Magazine's November issue about real woman and their bodies, we all want to feel good about ourselves.

At my children's school, they are embarking on an "I believe" campaign for self-esteem. The children will wear special shirts and listen to song on special days. I think it is silly but I bought the shirts because I would never want my children to think that their mother didn't believe in them enough to buy the shirts to wear on the special "believe" days. I am sure this program makes certain administrators feel like they are covering this developmental area. I don't think it is so easy. One comment from a special teacher or administrator to a child would mean a lot more than a silly song.

How we develop our self-esteem starts with our parents. If we feel loved and cherished in an atmosphere without fear and anger, self-esteem can flourish. As a child, I told I was pretty and smart but when I got to high school, I wasn't sure anymore. Peers can take so much away from a teenage girl. I then went to college and had a great experience. People were smart around me and I loved learning. The parties weren't too bad either. My self-esteem flourished.

Fast forward ten years to motherhood. It rocks your world. Who you were and how you feel about yourself is torn apart and reconstructed. That is not a bad thing. For awhile, you lose yourself in your children. You become a mother. You then spend a couple of years trying to regain your mojo while taking care of your family.

And just when you think you have figured out how to be OK in your skin, something surprises you. Maybe you hear from an old friend and the old memories come flooding back. Maybe you attend a class reunion. Maybe you talk to someone and they don't remember meeting you before. Maybe you aren't chosen for a project that you really wanted. Maybe someone says something negative about you. Maybe your child isn't invited to a party and they are disappointed. Maybe you aren't invited. You tell yourself that you are all grown-up and that it doesn't hurt. But, you know otherwise.

I have heard from older woman that the older you get, the more comfortable you feel in your skin. Nothing excites me more about getting older. And as I get older, I realize that self-esteem doesn't come from labels or money spent on things. Someone will always have more than you. I feel best when I help others and reach out to people. The love I get as a result makes me feel good. This has taken me years to learn.

So, I will dress my boys in their silly "I believe" t-shirts twice a month for school while teaching them at home that there is more to self-esteem. It is a journey and not a destination. I believe.

Gnat Funny

I worked my butt off this week. We had guests for the weekend. This would be tough without a newborn. But, it was nearly impossible to pull off with a baby. I can barely shower and eat during a normal day (and check Facebook and watch TV) let alone clean it from top to bottom.

But, with my fantastic husband's help, we got it done. He came home a little (a lot) early on Friday and we tag teamed it. We took turns cleaning and taking care of the baby. By the 6 p.m., I couldn't believe how much more we had to do. I had no idea my house was such a wreck.

Now, before I continue, I have to explain why I care. I know many of you would say that real friends shouldn't care how my house looks. I hear you. This is all about ME. I would be so annoyed if my house was trashed with people LIVING with me for the weekend. You can't just get away with cleaning the main floor.

OK. So, we got it done. I drank a glass of wine Friday night and nearly collapsed. Relieved to be done with the work. The basement was as clean as it gets. The guest bed was made. Towels were out. The only thing I didn't get to was my own bathroom or closet. I never thought they'd see it. In fact, I threw everything I had to get rid of into my closet. You know how that goes. In goes the clean clothes I can't get put away in time. In goes the clothes I need to return to Target. In goes the hermit crabs. The aquatic frogs. The crap.

I left the closet door is open.

"Can my girls take a bath?" My dear husband suggested to the guest that the girls take a bath in OUR bathroom. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In walked our guest.

I went white. I was stuck. I couldn't talk them out of our tub.

It was nasty. It was dirty. And she saw it all. All that I was hiding.

And wouldn't you know that the hermit crabs' tank had an outbreak of a million tiny gnats while in my closet? So, in my bathroom/bedroom they swarmed.

The weekend is over and I am happy to have a somewhat clean house. We had a great weekend with great friends. The gnats are still with me. Anyone wants some hermit crabs?

Shut Up

When Ted Kennedy passed away, I remember a Republican senator saying that when he once called Ted in the hospital, Ted immediately asked him how his sick grandson was doing. The senator said that Ted was always like that, asking how others were doing instead of talking about himself.


I wish I was more like that. Often times when I am talking to people, I am thinking of my experience and how it relates. Instead of being 100% there, I am in my own little world. In graduate school, my advisor would give me 100% of her attention. She was so attentive that I was distracted. I kept thinking "How does she do this?" She was a young mother of small children. And now that I have my own and I am so tired, I really admire that she was full time faculty, finishing her Ph.D., had children and cared what I had to say every week.


We all know bad listeners. The person that talk AT you not with you. The person that has to "one-up" you every time she talks to you. The person that talks too much and doesn't give others the chance to talk. The person that cuts you off mid-sentence. I do that to a good friend of mine every time we talk. I know I do it. I try not to. I am not sure why I do it to her more than to other friends. Maybe her stories are long. I don't know. I am working on keeping my mouth shut.


In Eckhart Tolle's book A New Earth, he talks about being present with others. Be with them when they speak. Be in the moment. It is my new goal. I will ask more questions and be engaged. I will talk less. I will be present. It is definitely a skill that I was born without. But one skill that I must learn.