Monday, July 28, 2008

Just Not My Bag, Baby

I am a bad friend. I don't mean to be. I like having friends. It's just that I am not good at it.

Today, some newer friends were talking about about a mother of a boy at preschool. "She never reciprocates." "She'll let him stay here for hours." "She never calls and invites my son over."

I am sitting there quietly. I know this mom and I can't believe my ears. My face is burning. Not in defense of other woman. I am ashamed because I know people could be having this conversation about me.

I know there are people my sons would love to play with. I don't call because I am afraid of new situations (yes, I am friends.) I also don't call because I am usually not that organized in the summer. I have been taking it easy. I haven't gotten around to some new people because we haven't even seen our close older friends that much. I also haven't called because other things are going on.

As I was writing this I thought to myself "I do call. I can list some friends that I call." But then I realized, I only call the closest people and I don't even do that very often. As Austin Powers said "That's just not my bag, baby." It's just not my nature. It's just not who I am. I am a friendly person but I just don't pick up the phone. I just don't think to call people to get our kids together.

This is a great problem to have. I am not complaining. I am just putting it out there. I need to be a better friend. Make more calls. Be more proactive. It is hard. But, I will try. It may not be my bag but I think it is my sons' bag. They love to get together with friends and so do I. "Yeah, baby, yeah."


Kathryn said...

Yep. I could be that mom they were talking about too. I'm not that way with my friends I've had a long time, but like you said, in new situations. Joey gets invited for playdates all the time and he'll go to a few, but we also have 12 boys in our neighborhood and he has 2 brothers. We are never is short supply of playmates around here.
This is just all new territory to me, and I don't mean to be rude, but I suppose it can look that way.

Rhea said...

Oh, you are so talking about ME. lol I'm so bad about arranging playdates and doing all that. I try, and do it occasionally, but I'm shy about new situations and new people...and it's all new for us right now since we moved a year ago.

Lisa said...

I'm the opposite. I try & get us together for playdates too often, keep us going and doing non-stop and sometimes in the midst of it all realize that we should have just stayed home & let the girls play together in their toyroom. As moms we're always looking for the balace, aren't we?

PS - Wouldn't consider you rude, I promise!

Jennifer said...

i'm right there with you. i love my friends, i love company and i love getting together with everyone, but i dread the phone calls and the planning and all that... i even dread the visit until it is happening and i realize it is going well and we are all having a great time. my son has never had friends over from school.. i should start to do that... i'm lame. ugh.

I don't know why I stress so much to begin with b/c every time it ends up being awesome. oh well.

i guess we all have things we need to work on. at least we can admit our areas that need work. :)


Krystyn said...

I could be that mom, too! I'm so bad about planning dates...but, people tell me to call to schedule them, and when I don't, they could call me, right? But they don't either!

Maybe, we can all work on it!

Clare said...

I feel your pain. I am always trying to force myself to get out there and meet new moms. Especially since I am a new mom myself. but, something always comes up, or we have our normal daily life stuff. I love the girlfriends I made in my neighborhood that are all staying at home with their kids...I just feel comfortable with them.

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