Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Shy or snotty?

I have a neighbor that won't say hi to me. It is really ticking me off. When she first moved in, I would wave and try to be friendly. I sent over a basket of chocolates and a welcome note. I didn't hear from her.
Two years ago, this shy neighbor was locked out of her house, wearing her bathrobe while holding her new born in the winter. She came over and we spent about 45 minutes waiting for her husband to come home from work to let her in. We talked and she was really nice.

But today, as I rolled my trash cans to the curb, there she was, doing the same. She was rolling the trash cans to the curb. OK. She can hear my trash cans. I hear hers. She will not look up. I am dying to say hello. Nothing.

Sometimes I feel too shy to say hello. I understand the fear. This has been going on for years. Would you just look up and acknowledge that we are both humans living similar lives?

I know that this is my problem. It isn't really a problem. I just think about it daily when I see her and wondered how others have handled this sort of situation. Should I yell out her name and give her a big wave? Should I just start ignoring her? Should I let my dog loose and hope she ends up in her yard? What to do?


5 comments:

Jessica said...

Hhmmm. Good Question. I too have odd neighbors. The ones across the street told us we were going to hell b/c my husband grew up methodist and I jewish. Our neighbors on the right inquired over the fence last week if we thought the "gypsies" were moving into the foreclosed home at the end of the block. My neighbor on the other side feels it is important to offer all his advice on how to keep our lawn greener. The 6 year old three houses over is always unsupervised and ends up in my garage unannounced. Really do we need neighbors? Don't get me wrong, I live on a lovely cul-d-sac in a child friendly area. I feel fortunate to live in this community.

Seeing in your bio where you live...I don't live that far away. So you can come over and test your ideas on my crazy neighbors and we can come up with a strategy.

Rhea said...

You are so sweet to have sent your neighbor a welcome chocolate basket! I wish I had neighbors like you!!

She sounds painfully shy (or really rude). Give her the benefit of the doubt and just continue trying to be friendly, I think. That way you can feel good about the way you've acted and the kind of person you are...and hopefully one day she'll come around (maybe).

I have some weird neighbor issues here, and I was so disappointed when we moved into this neighborhood almost a year ago and no one welcomed us.

Caroline C. Bingham said...

I think you should just force yourself upon her. That's how I get all my friends. ;)

Don Mills Diva said...

Hmmm - I have always believed it is better to err on the side of reaching out to someone. I would probably invite her over for a cold drink on the porch and if she declines you have your answer. If she accepts you might have a new friend...

Anonymous said...

Neighbors just suck! Why do we need them? Seriously. We have neighbors who've called the City on us for thee most insane reasons and then she denies ever doing so. The easiest way of not having to speak to someone and just wave is when you're taking the garbage out. I say she's just a biatch! Our neighbors at our new house never "welcomed" us. They actually hated us for building right next door. At our old house, which was in the same suburb, our neighbors made meals for us after each of our children's births. I just don't get some people. My suggestion...next time (& every time after that) you see her outside, be sure to yell hello and wave like a crazy woman. She'll either love you for it or think she's moved next to a total psycho!

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