Friday, May 30, 2008
My family pet died last week. I wasn't going to write about it because I couldn't find the words. For the whole night after I found out, I tried to write. I was shocked that I could be so sad that my old cat died. We knew she was past her time. We knew she would die soon. She was so old. I tried to write about her. The words wouldn't come to me. She was a wonderful cat. She was at least 18 years old when she passed. She was loved as a member of the family and we miss our Toonces.
Today, I am also sad. I went for my ultrasound today. Not good. My baby stopped growing at 7 1/2 weeks old. I thought I was 11 weeks along. Once again, I can't find the words. I have read other blogs where people can find poetic words to express how they are handling their grief. They are clever. They are smart. I am just too tired from crying to be either.
This will be my one and only post about being this sad. I have friends old and new that read this blog. I felt that you needed to know. Today, Kyle my four year old said "Will Ted (the name the boys gave the baby) be in Heaven?" I said yes. He is in Heaven now. Kyle said "Good. I will get to meet him someday." Yes, I am sad.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
I was duped. I was Bridget Jones. I wanted to die.
Monday, May 26, 2008
I was in a wedding on Saturday. The bride and the weather was gorgeous. I was not. We wore strapless dresses and I am so broken out. When I am not on birth control, my skin really breaks out. So to cover up the pimples, I dabbed make-up over my pimples. Looked pretty good, no problems.
When I arrived at the hotel for pre-wedding photos, it was just beautiful outside. I sat in the sun and watched the men take their photos. I was outside no longer than 20 minutes. I was enjoying the warm weather.
Hours later at the reception, people kept coming up to me. "What happened to your skin?" "Did you try to tan before the wedding" "Did you get bit by a mosquito?"
Yes, the foundation worked. I had white spots where there used to be pimples and sunburned skin all around it. Unbelievable. I have photos to prove that the sunscreen does work in foundation. The experts are wrong!
Thursday, May 22, 2008
I was hoping another mother would step forward. Someone will want to adopt the class pets. Why can't I just read the letter home and not step forward? Why must I volunteer for everything? I am such a sucker.
I am going to blame it on hormones. My oldest boy, Ryan, is graduating from Pre-K tomorrow. He wasn't ready for kindergarten at all last fall. This year, he has developed into such a smart, inquisitive little man. He is so ready for kindergarten and I am relieved to see how excited he is to go to school. Anyhow, back to the hormones. Ryan has been sharing songs they are going to sing tomorrow at the graduation. I tear up when he sings them at home. I know it will be worse tomorrow. I am going to stand in the back row so that no one sees me cry.
I wanted to buy Ryan a nice book as a graduation gift. But then, I received a letter from the teacher. She needed someone to adopt the hermit crabs. Yes, I said yes to adopting hermit crabs. So I was off to the local pet store to buy the simple supplies to house the new pets. I thought I'd need a cheap aquarium, a little sand, a tiny house and a sponge for water. I'll only spend about $20. Not bad for a nice graduation surprise for my little boy.
Well, to my surprise, I ran into another preschool mom friend, Kelly. She was also buying hermit crab supplies. She said she spent $50 at another pet store. I couldn't believe my ears. She wasn't done. She needed more supplies so that's where we ran into each other. Oh no. My husband is going to kill me. This is getting expensive.
As Kelly and I walked toward our vans, we couldn't stop laughing. We were both adopting hermit crabs and had just spent $65 dollars for our "free pets." Both of us kept calling ourselves "Suckas." We also wondered which one of us would be the first to have a funeral for our new pets. I am not placing any bets. I am outta money.
Monday, May 19, 2008
Summer is here for his speech therapy. We're on our own. We'll keep practicing and working on our "F's" and "S's." We'll add some new letters once he is ready to move on. Until then, I will do my best to pretend I know what my little boy is saying to me. Ummm. Yeah. Sure.
Sunday, May 18, 2008
I am not very good at naming babies. As a child, I couldn't name my baby dolls. As an adult, I am not much better at it. I never had a list of names that I "just knew" my children would be named. I look at books. I look at lists. I look on the web. In the operating room, I was thrilled to be hear "It's a boy!" I didn't have a girl name. I am that bad at naming babies.
My children's names are Ryan and Kyle. Pretty common and safe. But, we liked the names and we agreed. Now, I can't imagine them named anything else. We have baby #3 on the way. We have no names in sight. My children have named the baby "Ted." I am not sure where it came from but it makes it easier than calling the baby, "baby."
My husband and I have very different ideas when it comes to names. We make a big list of all of the names that we like. We then take turns crossing names off one at a time that we don't like. We used this process for Kyle and it worked for us.
So what names have you NOT used that you wish you would have? Have you always know what you'd name your children? Are there names you wish you had the guts to name your child? Are you fearless?
Friday, May 16, 2008
My son has wide feet. This doesn't seem like a big deal. But, he cannot wear the shoes that come with the tux. I thought, no problem. I will just buy some shoes that look like the shoes from the tuxedo shop. I started to hit the mall and websites. They make shoes in wide. Yes, for kids who wear tennis shoes they do. I have learned in the last month that wide dress shoes for children are nearly impossible to track down.
I have looked high and low. Nordstrom to Walmart. Target to Dillards. Stride Rite to Famous Footwear. Websites are sold out in my little boys size!
Nearly a month ago, I was so proud of myself. I ordered a pair from Stride Rite. Pricey but at least I found them. Days and days passed. They didn't arrive. I emailed Stride Rite yesterday and they said that there was a problem with my credit card. Thanks for telling me A MONTH LATER. I didn't receive any contact from them. Nothing. So now I am scrambling.
Today I bought a pair of shoes that are not even wide width. The saleslady at Nordstrom did a great job on selling me on their flexibility. They might work. But, I nearly fell over at the price. Almost $80 for a pair of shoes that my boy will wear once. My shoes for the wedding did not cost that amount.
I am going to check on one more store on Sunday. I won't even let my little guy see the shoes. I don't want him to fall in love if I can find something cheaper.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
So yesterday, I wrote about cleaning for company. Tough to do but as I read comments, we all feel that it is necessary.
What's worse that cleaning for company? The drop in. Today while grocery shopping, I got a call from my dad. "Where are you?" I am grocery shopping. "Do you mind if we come over in about an hour?" What? They hardly ever visit so I can't no. I have a cart full of groceries, I have to pick up my son from preschool and my house is a mess again. As I race to the check out, I am trying to figure out how to get this all done in about an hour.
I have never put groceries away so fast. I ran around the house and thank goodness we had a sitter the other night. The house wasn't too bad. I focused on where we'd spend most of our time. The kitchen. I also had to tackle the garage a little bit. My parents brought me some ferns from their house to plant in our garden. We'd be in the garage a lot. The garage is always a complete mess. But this week, it was worse. I had recycling containers and garbage cans out of place. Sports equipment and painting supplies everywhere. You could barely walk through the garage. I had to do this all in an hour.
But, I made it. It looks like we always keep it this way. Yep.
Once again, if you cannot relate. Please do not comment. It will make the rest of us feel awful. At least I have another sitter coming in two days. My house can't get that bad in two days, right?
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Fast forward to tonight.
I had a sitter coming. A babysitting co-op mommy. For the past two weeks, my house has been out of control due to a laundry room project, pregnancy scare and new love of reading blogs. Every day it is getting better but a sitter coming really helped motivate me.
As we were busy cleaning, my little boy said "Mommy, do we clean so that the sitter thinks we aren't messy?" Ouch. "Yes, we are pretending that our family room always looks like this."
Why do we do this to ourselves? We should all admit that our houses aren't always clean. Dishes aren't always put in the dishwasher. Kids leave toys out. I leave magazines all over the place. Our lives are busy. We are doing the best we can. We aren't perfect.
I can write this but I know I can't stop cleaning for company. Do you always clean up for company? Why? Why not? If your house is always clean, please don't share it with the rest of us. We are feeling bad enough already.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
I have noticed a somber mood with moms lately at preschool. It could be the 50 degree weather we are having in Ohio. It could be the rain or lack of sunshine. But as I talk to moms, it seems to be that moms are thinking about the end of the school year. Most of the moms are wondering how to fill the time. Without school to attend daily, we must create a new schedule. A means to survival is required.
Let's think positive about this change of season!
1. You won't need to find socks that match. Encourage sandal wearing. Barefoot is even better.
2. Ponytails for your hair is acceptable especially for summer.
3. Your kids won't have any high water pants in the summer.
4. Mornings can be lazy. No rushing off to preschool. No book bags.
5. You can embrace your inner child with sidewalk chalk and lots of bubbles.
6. Chasing butterflies.
7. Just think of February. How can we not be happy in the summer?
8. Older moms say we miss this time in our lives. I am going to be more present and enjoy it more this summer.
9. Extra hours of sunlight. I love the long days of summer.
10. Ice cream!!!
Disclaimer: This post started out very negative for me. I tried to turn it around and not be such a negative nelly. So, if you aren't feeling all that positive about the summer break. I feel ya sista!
Monday, May 12, 2008
Friday, May 9, 2008
Mother's Day really isn't Mother's Day. It's really grandma's day. My kids are still pretty small. They have mom's day at school the week prior to Mother's Day so they don't understand that Mother's Day is a real day. Also, I am with my children every day, all day except for nursery school a few times a week. I don't feel the need to bond with my children on this day. We bond every day, hours and hours a day. Every day is mother's day.
For Mom's special day, do we get the day off? Not really. We have to hurry around getting the kids dressed in pants without holes and in a "handsome" shirts. We try to comb their hair and make sure they look presentable. We search for their shoes and socks. We rush around wrapping gifts and finding cards. Some years, we are running to the store to buy the card that we lost somewhere in our house.
On MY mother's day, we go to a very nice brunch with the whole in-law clan. I honestly
enjoy the get together. My husband takes over with the kids and I enjoy relaxing and talking with the family. Afterwards, we say goodbye and head on down to my hometown, Alliance. We usually get their first and by the time my sister arrives with her children, we are ready to leave. But, we have to stick it out. We also have to suddenly become hungry and eat at my parents house. We usually stuff ourselves at the brunch so it is impossible to be hungry for an early dinner at my parents. By the end of this visit, the kids are cranky and ready to go home. So are we.
In the end, I don't get any special time to myself on Mother's Day. It is more stressful than a normal day. It is up there with holidays such as Thanksgiving or Easter. Don't get me wrong. I am so lucky that I have family that I have to visit on this holiday. It is just that the reality of the day clashes with a romantic special day I have in my mind.
My dream day off:
I sleep in until I can't sleep any more. The kids are away and I can get a shower alone. I then get ready to go to Ladies & Gentleman in Lyndhurst for a facial and massage. Afterwards, I go shopping without any guilt and find the perfect outfit. I meet some friends for an early dinner at the Cheesecake Factory. We then go to see a chic flick. (Now remember, I am pregnant. If I wasn't, the evening would include dancing and lots of wine!)
How would you spend the day if you could be completely honest? Would you spend it with your kids or do you need some time off to yourself? We all need different things at different stages of our lives. Happy Mother's Day! I am sending you warm wishes for a wonderful Mother's Day. Whatever that entails.
When shopping for my favorite tea at the Mustard Seed in Solon, I found that they carried reusable aluminum water bottles right next to the tea. How did I miss them last month? They are very similar to the ones I purchased online and apparently paid too much for. They are a little smaller but a lot cheaper. They also carry plastic water bottles that are said to be toxin free. They are very inexpensive. I also found a cool water bottle made of corn. It will eventually break down after 90 washings. You can't throw it in the dishwasher so that wouldn't work for me. Too many germs at the playground for me. Gotta have the sani rinse.
Thursday, May 8, 2008
So, as I sat at a park waiting for my doctor appointment, I felt a warm sensation on my right shoulder. It took a minute to register since I was busy thinking about my baby. The warm sensation was bird poop. A bird pooped on my shirt while I was sitting and thinking about my family's future. My pessimism turned to optimism. I called my sister "If a bird poops on you, isn't it good luck?" She sure was confused since I was nearly crying five minutes before on the phone with her. "Yes, I think it is."
I have no idea why people say it is good luck but it made me laugh. I went from tears of sadness to tears of laughter in one minute. Good luck or just silly? Well, my ultrasound showed a very healthy, heart beating baby. So, I will say good luck.
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
So, instead of running errands, I hurried through the album listening to each song. It is really good and I was shocked. If you exercise to music, you need this CD. Almost every song is a dance song with a great beat. Justin Timberlake helped write a lot of the songs and sings on a few. The Neptunes along with Timbaland and Justin Timberlake helped produce the album. Kanye West helps out on a great dance song "Beat Goes On." Madonna surrounded herself with current players and created a very modern, danceable CD.
When was the last time you bought a CD? Are you listening to children's music in your van? You deserve something modern and adult. Do it. Take a chance on some Hard Candy. Madonna will satisfy.
I always love cupcakes or cake but I really crave it when I am pregnant. Yes, you read that correctly. We are pregnant with our third child. And from guessing from how I am feeling and what I have been eating, I am going on the record that it is a boy. My third boy.
Another thing that I eat when I am pregnant is meat. I normally am not a huge meat eater. But the week before I knew I was pregnant, I came home from the grocery store with five dinners planned with meat. Red meat. Steak. Hamburgers. That is so not me. My husband noticed and I brushed it off. How did I miss that sign? I hardly ever buy steaks or red meat.
So, while I have attempted to post about silly things going on my life, I was dying to tell you about my cupcakes and meat. I needed to share the information first with the people around me first. Now that most of them know, I can be more honest and open with what is going on. Now, you must excuse me, I have two cupcakes left that are calling my name.
Monday, May 5, 2008
Friday, May 2, 2008
"Did you say jail?"
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Dinner went well. Better than can be expected. Lack of volume control when talking was really the only problem. No worries. Well until an older couple came over to us. I thought she looked unhappy. It took me a minute to figure out what she was saying. She said her husband was worried when we sat down with so many kids and wanted to change seats. But they couldn't believe how good our kids were being. They wanted to send icecream over to the table to thank the children. Isn't that great?
We didn't want the tide to turn. So we quickly finished up our meal, grabbed the check and herded the flock towards the door. It was a great evening with our Dad and children that I am sure none of us will ever forget.
Note: Jessica asked yesterday where I bought my aluminum bottles. There are many sites. I went with Online Fitness. I wanted a different color for each child and myself so we could keep them straight. I also liked the sports top of the bottles of the Sport Classic. On some sites, you have to order the sports tops separately. You also have to pay an extra $5 per bottle for the tops on some sites. Hope this helps!